No...I Am Not Dead, Missing Or Have Fallen Off The Earth

Contrary to popular belief I have not...............
  1.  Fallen off the face of the Earth
  2.  Gained any of my weight back (which is a Christmas miracle)
  3.  Been kidnapped by aliens.
  4.  Been eaten by the mountain lion that lives on my hill.
  5.  Been driven mad due to the continual whining of my children.
 
Yes, I am still alive.  Quite alive.  But, we have had a very crazy couple of months.  Here is the brief outline of what has gone down....

  1.  4 out of 5 of us had the flu.  Not little coughing and congestion.  We had the full blown 10 day flu. 
  2.  Had family in from out of state for Thanksgiving.
  3.  Caught a stomach virus.  Which circled thoroughout our house.
  4.  Gone stark raving mad trying to find Christmas gifts for my super picky children.
  5.  Had an out of state family wedding.
  6.  ALL of us caught yet another cold...lucky us.
  7.  I worked a 40+ hours during the last week before holiday break at school.   
  8.  Why did I work so much?  Because all my PTO volunteers also had the flu.
  9.  Had a family Christmas break from illness for about 3 days. 
 10.  Yes, then we got another cold.

It has been absolutely CrAzY at my house.  Last Friday, was the first time I got a chance to send all 3 kids to school at the same time.  As you can imagine, I am trying to catch up.  But, the jokes on me because we started basketball season.  Saturday we have 5 games.  Yes, you read that right.  5 games.  With pictures thrown in the middle.  And tomorrow, I have a school event until about 5 PM.  And tonight, we have a science fair awards ceremony.

I honestly can say I am so thankful that I have lost all this weight.  There is no way I would have been able to keep up with all this before.  No.  Way. 

Oh, I did start a new boot camp.  The trainer is a long time friend of mine...and she is very hard.  I couldn't sit down for a week after starting it!  Sweet!

So.....I promise to write more when the chace allows.  But, right now I am busy just living.  And that was my goal all along.  To just live.

Happy living!!!!

30 Days Of Gratitude............Day 15

Today I am especially thankful that I got to go celebrate Thanksgiving with 2 of my girls at their school.  Even though I didn't partake of the cafeteria cuisine, I still spent quality time with Lily and Georgia. 

I don't say this often  but I am very thankful that I have the choice to stay at home with them.  We may not have lots of extra money but hopefully they will remember the time that I spent being extremely active in their school lives.

Oh, and while we are on the thankful kick.......................

I am especially thankful for my PTO Veep, Tanya (a.k.a Mini-Martha....cause she is a crafty little thing!).  Tanya made these wonderful Thanksgiving signs.  Without her I would surely be locked away in the PTO loony bin by now.



30 Day Gratitude....Days 9-14

Well, I have been a bit absent from my blog. 

Hannah (12 yr. old) has been sick for 6 days.  Yuk!

So today I am grateful that she is feeling better and was able to return to school.

 Cuz, mama needed a little break.  Really.  I am not kidding. 

Gratitude...................Day 8

Today I am grateful that I am not related to this dude......................

Yep.  You read it right.  He is looking for a wife by advertising on his truck.

And in case you are wondering, I took that picture.  Today.  In my town.  With my cell phone.  In my gym parking lot.

I guess desperate times call for desperate measures.

30 Days of Gratitude.................Day 7

Today I am sooooooooooooooooooooo grateful to Mark Z. and the person at FB who invented the "hide" button.  Seriously, you are genius!  I no longer have to read ignorant FB posts (and there are ignorant comments from both sides).

 A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!!

30 Days of Gratitude................Day 6

Today I am grateful that we can get all this election business done. 

I have never been so ready to be able to turn on the T.V., radio or log into the Internet without campaign propaganda being thrown at me. 

This election seems to have drug on and on and on and on..............................

30 Days Of Gratitude..............Day 5

I am grateful for my recovery from my VAD/Stroke.

Today at the gym (our gym is also the physical therapy office for the hospital) a lady came in and began to exercise on the cross-trainer next to me.  She had clearly had a stroke.  Her gait was unbalanced and her speech and mannerisms were labored.

And it made me remember all too well those early days of recovery.

When it took every ounce of my energy to walk across the room.  When I felt so frustrated to not remember the correct word I wanted to use.  When I was appalled that I (a 34 yr. old) had to use a walker just to get the bathroom.

I remember that out of control feeling.  The feeling that what I wanted and what my body would physically do did not match. 

And today I am thankful that my recovery (after almost 7 years) has come so far.  It truly is miraculous.

Sure there are days when I feel off.  When I am tired.  When I limp a little.  But I have pushed beyond every obstacle that was thrown my way.  I have overcome what the doctors said was impossible.

I am truly thankful for my recovery and for the journey I have taken.

It has made me stronger, more resilient and I think a more compassionate person than the person I was before my stroke.

30 Days of Gratitude..........Day 4

Today I am very grateful to be the mother of a truly compassionate child.

While out shopping this afternoon, it made Lily (my 10 yr. old) tear up when she noticed someone that was obviously in a far worse position that anyone we know.

She has a heart that is so big and full of love and tenderness that I know she will go on to do wonderful things with her life.

I wish everyone had 1/2 the caring spirit that she does.  In fact, I wish I did!  She makes me want to be a better person.

I wouldn't trade her for anything (even on the days she tries my patience). 

If only we could see people through the eyes of a 10 year old.  Maybe we would be a bit kinder, a bit gentler and a little less critical.

30 Days Of Gratitude.............Day 3

Today I am especially grateful for the roof above my head.

I had to drop a package off at the post office today and when I did I noticed a woman outside the building.  She was talking to herself and pacing back and forth, carrying a large bag that contained a sleeping bag.

It kind of shocked me.

Because I live in a small, quaint, what some would call an idyllic Texas town.

The woman was clearly homeless.

So today, I was reminded how important it is to be thankful for the roof above my head.

Thank you for my home.  I am truly grateful to have a place to shelter my family and keep us safe. A house that I can tuck my babies into bed every night.  It may not be a mansion but it is a house filled with love.

Gratitude.................Day 2

Day 2 of the 30 days of gratitude............

I am grateful that I live in a country that has education available to all genders.

I was watching the news this morning and saw a clip about persecution of girls in the Middle East because they are pursuing education.

It made me think about my 3 girls and how I rarely think twice about their educational opportunities.  In fact, I would have to say I take for granted that education is available to them.

Education is a gift and something I am very grateful for.

On a lighter note, I am thankful that the horse size vitamin I stupidly took this morning has finally dropped into my stomach after lingering above my band for a few hours.

Of course, it finally dropped after making me so nauseous that I couldn't even breathe.  Rookie mistake on my part.  Sometimes I forget that my band is there. 

Anyway, find something (no matter how small) to be grateful for today!!!

Happy Friday.

30 Days Of Gratitude....Day 1

I love this idea.....to each day post something that I am grateful for.  Because let's face it, life with 3 kiddos gets crazy and sometimes it is easy to lose sight of what I am thankful for. 

So here it goes..........day 1.

Today I am especially grateful for Hannah.  She turned 12 today.

I really thought we were destined to not have children.  6 years into our marriage, she was a huge blessing/miracle/surprise.  I had honestly thought that perhaps we were not meant to have our own biological children.  And that was okay with me.  I knew that somewhere there was a child that was meant to be in my arms. 

Then I found out I was pregnant and Kevin and I couldn't have been any happier.

And on Halloween of 2000 she decided she may want to come join us.

After 32 hours of labor and little to no progression Hannah was taken C-section.  She was tiny (just right at 5 lbs.) and perfectly pink.

With her arrival my whole world changed.

So today I celebrate her 12th birthday and remind myself that I am truly grateful for being her mother.

Happy 12th Birthday Hannah Banana!!!!

I'm Going Old School.............

I have decided to go old school on myself. 

Old school, baby!

As in........I am strapping on my pedometer again.

I do not think that I have been getting enough cardio in (despite boot camp and walking).

When I was in the middle of my weight loss phase I religiously wore my trusty pedometer EVERY DAY.  My goal was 10,000 steps per day (the equivalent of 5 miles).

I didn't start with 10,000 steps.  Nope.  I didn't want to give myself a heart attack.  Instead I started at 2,500 steps per day and eventually worked my way up to 10,000.

But, somewhere after I hit my maintenance number I quit wearing it.  I don't remember when this happened or even why....I just did.  One day, I forgot to wear it and then it never made a daily reappearance.   Probably because I felt like I hit my goal so why bother.  But, that isn't the right attitude.

As we all know, this weight loss/maintenance thing is an ongoing process.  I will never feel safe at my current weight.  I will always be on guard.  And so, I have decided to wear my pedometer again.  So I know without a doubt that I am making a conscience effort at maintaining my current health.

So there you have it.

That is why I strapped this on today.

I will wear it from the time I get up until the time I go to bed.  It will have a little shrine on my bedside table.  After all, it does deserve a sacred location as it was the exact pedometer that got me to my goal.

However, I do have a new goal.

12,500 steps per day.  That is what constitutes a VERY ACTIVE lifestyle.  Which has always been my goal.

Yep, I am kicking it old school again.

Anyone, care to join me?

How Freeing.................

This past week has been very contemplative for me.

You see, in the past week I have seen not 1 person but 2 people who had such a negative bearing on my life when I was at my lowest (and heaviest) point.  Not 1 but 2. 

These people had a HUGE effect on how I felt about myself.  Because I gave them that power.  The power to make me feel worthless.  To feel like I did not deserve to even breathe the same air they were breathing.

I kid you not.  These people were awful.  Probably, okay most likely, because I allowed them to be.  I allowed them to have the power to make me loathe myself.  And worse, I became so bitter about it I wore that pain like a shield and let it fester and create such resentment not only towards them but towards myself.  It justified my belief that  I was a failure.

But, something has completely shifted over the last year and a half.  What has shifted is the balance of power I give others.  As I have lost the weight and shed the depression I have regained my confidence.  And truth be told, there are very few people I let have a negative effect on me anymore. I just don't give them the power.

So, when I saw these people (and let's be honest, I live in Smalltown, TX, it was bound to happen) I had daydreamed about how the scenario would play out....

A.  After realizing who I was and saying how totally awesome I look, I would smugly agree and dismiss them.

B.  I would get to say...Look at me!  I skinnied up but you are still a complete asshole.   And then I would of course promptly dismiss them.

But, that isn't what happened.  At all.

How it really went down was this:

Across a party I notice someone out of the corner of my eye staring at me.  I have grown accustomed to this now.  The slow recognition.  But, when I turn and lock eyes it is someone I really could have done without seeing ever again.  The thing is I feel absolutely NOTHING.  Nada.  Zilch.  No anger, no resentment, just the absence of all the bitterness that I had carried around for so long.  So, I just smile and continue with my conversation.

2 days later I see the same person.  And again nothing.  No hate, no resentment, no anxiety.  Just a peace.

And several days later, I see person number 2.  And I again feel exactly the same way as when I saw person 1.

All the years that I have carried around that extra weight and extra bitterness are gone. 

How freeing.

How completely surreal.

How humbling.

To know that I do not hold someones words like weapons above myself.  That I am at a place now that I am okay.  That I am now okay with me.  With who I am and who I have become.

6 years of pain...gone.

6 years of self loathing....gone.

And the realization that I am going to be fine now.  In fact, I am going to be more than fine.  I can not begin to tell you how that feels.

I will leave you with my favorite quote of all time from Eleanor Roosevelt:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

From this day forward, I know that NO ONE will ever have my consent to make me feel the way I felt about myself for years.  No one will ever have that power again. 

I won't let them.......

Neighborly Chickens????

The other day, I came home to this:

In case you are wondering what that is in the middle of my field, let me just say it is a large cage.

I also found these:

2 new chickens.

Yeah.  Oh joy.

Because in my mind.....

This:

+



This:

=

This:

CRAP-TASTIC!!!!

I was gone only an hour.  To the grocery store.  To make sure my family would be able to eat for the weekend.  As you can image I was a bit surprised to find 2 new chickens.  Because if you have been reading this blog for awhile you know that chickens are not my favorite pet.

So, I stomped my way into the house in a huff and questioned the hubs.  I would have shone a light in his face and used my superb interrogation techniques but I was seriously taken aback by the whole chicken situation.

Anyway,  I asked where the hells bells those chickens had come from.

Apparently, the neighbor lady upon seeing my car leave came over with a large pen and two chickens she wanted to get rid of. 

Make no mistake, I really like our neighbors.  They live 1/4 mile down the road.  They don't bother us.  We are all friendly and know if either of us needed anything all we have to do is ask.  But................and here is the big but...................she knows I no likey the chickens.  So, she waited until I drove off because she knows the hubs will tell her sure. 

Nice. 

I just had to ask him why she would want to give up 2 chickens that apparently are producing 2 fresh eggs a day.  I mean, what's the catch?  It just seemed too good to be true.

The hubs just shrugged his shoulders. 

Let me say this, I love the hubby.  But when they were passing out common sense, he refused to take it.  The man is brilliant, super book smart, but common sense he is lacking.  It never occurred to him to question her.

Well, yesterday I found out why she dumped the said chickens on us.  She did it because they are just flat out mean.  M-E-A-N.

Chicken bullies.

All I have to say is this:

Well played neighbor.  Well.  Played.  A tip of the old hat to you.  You have given us two chickens who are the biggest chicken bullies I have ever seen. 

Also neighbor, just wait.......one day you will have to go to the grocery store too.  And you never know what neighborly thing I may drop off at your house.  Because, I know your hubby will agree to it too.

Oh, and here is the song my sweet 8 yr. old composed about the chickens that day:

In case you can't read an 8 yr. olds chicken stratch (pun intended):

Chickens are mean,
Chickens are cruel.
I hope I don't get,
Chicken pot stew.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Motivational Monday....Life Lessons From My 10 Yr. Old

Today my motivation comes straight from my 10 yr. old;  who has shown me once again that in life you have to roll with the punches.

I just got an email from her teacher.  It included the cryptic message:  Lily wants to know if you will bring her a pair of shorts to the school.

Hmmmm.  No explanation.  No reason why.  Just to bring her a pair of shorts.

My brain automatically was going a million miles an hour coming up with possibilities of reasons why more shorts would be needed.

Perhaps she ripped them.  Maybe they didn't make dress code.  Did she spill something on them?  Was there a spot on them?

So, I jumped in the car and immediately took the shorts to the office where they proceeded to call her down and let her know her mom was waiting for her.

When she walked into the office she had a smile on her face.  Good sign, right? 

Well, she told me how she had an incriminating mark on the "butt"  of her pants.  She turned around and showed me and sure enough she looked like she had pooped her pants.

Apparently, her BFF noticed first thing this morning and like any good BFF would do wrapped her sweatshirt around her waist.  Giving up her clothes to console her friend.  If that isn't a good best friend I don't know what is.

So I asked Lily if her friend had given her the sweatshirt before everyone had seen the spot.   Her reply:  No, mom.  EVERYONE saw it.   They were pointing at it.  I tried to tell them is was just paint but everyone said it looked like poop.

I helped her change and asked her if she was going to be okay.  I mean I know if it had been me I would have been in the nurses office with a cool rag on my head sobbing.  And after my mom had helped me change I would have clung to her and insisted on taking the rest of the day off.  I would have cried uncontrollably probably making myself vomit.  Then my mom would have carted me to the psychologist  to get me a child size dose of Valium.  I would have made every argument as to why she needed to home school me.  To that she would have laughed and I would have cried harder and flung myself on every surface insisting I could NEVER EVER show my face in the 3rd grade again. 

But that was me at 10.  Pure drama.

Her?  Not so much. 

She just laughed.  And told me not to be silly.  That she was fine.  She had her BFF.  Emma would have her back.  Anyway, she knew it wasn't poop and that is all that mattered.

Yep, my 10 yr. old once again has shown me that sometimes in life you just have to roll with the punches.

Life Lesson Of The Day:  Always check the seat of your pants before leaving the house. In case you forget and there is a stain on your pants:  Learn to laugh at the situation.  Roll with it. It is all about how you react.

TTT Is Just A Pipe Dream Today.................

My phone has been dinging all morning.  With constant text messages and calls.......about my non-paying, full-time job (A.K.A. PTO). 

All I have to say is this:

Yep, it's one of those days.

You would have thought I had broken the law because I turned my phone off this morning when I worked out. 

It's going to be a long, long day.

Where Is The Logic????

I just got back from Wally World.  And get this..........

I needed approval to buy protein shake powder. 100% whey protein powder with no additives.

Seriously.

Like the checkout lady had to approve the transaction.  To make sure I was okay to buy protein powder.

Where is the logic in this?

I can buy any trans fat laced snack without approval.  I can buy an energy drink without approval.  Heck, I can even buy wake-up over the counter medicine.

But I can not buy J*llian M*chaels whey protein powder without approval.

That folks is completely insane. 

Too Funny Not To Share

My friend Tammie (her dog is the one we are trying to breed our pug with) texted me this picture yesterday.

Hilarious right?



That is my dog grinning like an idiot in the background.  And her dog Mr. Puggles looks scared to death.

He is probably wondering what the heck his mom did to him trying to set him up with a experienced older woman.

Poor, poor Mr. Puggles.

Ten Things Thursday

Well, it's Thursday again.  So.............Ten, Things Thursday are brought to us by the lovely Laura at Beer, Dogs & Getting Healthier.

1.  I have become a dog pimp.  Yep.  I am whoring out my fur baby.  A friend of ours has a male pug.  It helps that I know he is from a good family.  We didn't want her socializing with any questionable doggies.  Nope.  She is way too good for that.  Funny how now that we are trying to get her preggers she won't cooperate.  Yesterday when Mr. Puggles and her were locked together in a large dog kennel they took a nap.  Yep.  A nap.  Georgia (my 8 yr. old) asked me how it went and when I told her they had spent the afternoon napping together she replied:  "Oh, you know what that means right?  That means he is just in the friend zone".    Friend zone?  She is 8.  She may be watching too much T.V.

2.  Speaking of T.V., I was driving down the road the other day when a T*ylor Sw*ft song came on the radio.  Georgia of course had a comment.  Here is what went down....

I hear a loud huff.  When I look in the mirror Georgia has her arms crossed and is rolling her eyes.

Me:  What?
Georgia:  T*ylor Sw*ft should have her own reality show.
Me:  Why?
Georgia:  Duh!  She needs to have a show called:  Breakup With T*ylor Sw*ft.  Boys would be crying all over the place because she broke up with them and wrote a song about it.
Me:  Okay.  That actually may be a good idea.
Georgia:  Duh again, mom.  Of course it was a good idea......it was mine!

3.  I am being a lazy eater lately.  I have reverted back to protein shakes.  It is like I can't be bothered to chew right now.  That is lazy folks.  Lazy.

4.  Hannah officially sprained her ankle.  Kevin ended up taking her to the ER last Saturday night for an x-ray.  She has been on crutches and in a brace all week.  Since she is a fashionista she could not bear to go to school in a plain black brace so she used duct tape to decorate it. 

Notice there is a roll of toilet paper sitting on my counter..........WTH?  Why am I the only one capable of cleaning up?!  
Anyway, isn't her brace cute?  She is one crafty little 11 yr. old.

5.  Monday, we had a grandparents luncheon at the school.  Since grandparents weren't available to go with Lily and Georgia they had to eat lunch with me.  Which they weren't too excited about.  Apparently since I live up at the school it is not "special"  that mommy is there.  That comment came straight from my 10 yr. old.  Sniff, sniff.  I guess they don't care that I only carried them in my womb and nourished them for 9 months and then haven't had a good night sleep since they were born.  :p

6.  I have discovered Pop Chips.  What do they sprinkle on them....crack?  They are so addictive.  This may have been a bad thing for me to discover because now I am obsessed with them. 

7.  Kevin came home last night and asked us to go with him Friday morning to Dallas.  There is going to be a Granbury segment on a morning show and they need an audience.  Then he told me we would need to be on a charter bus to go by 3 a.m.  That is when I actually laughed in his face.  Uh....there is no way I am getting on a bus at 3 a.m.  No.  Stinking.  Way.  I don't care about being on T.V.  Probably because I know I would look like crap on camera at 3 a.m. in the morning.  I would look like someone punched me in the eye due to the dark circles and bags around my eyes.  There is no amount of coffee that would be capable of waking me up at that time of morning.  No.  Thank.  You.

8.  I think there is something wrong with our puppy.  She is licking the window right now.  Poor puppy.  She is "special". 

9.  It is finally raining.  Which makes me want to nap.  I want to curl up under a quilt with a good book and fall asleep to the sounds of rain hitting the roof.

10.  Boot camp started on Monday.  So....I went Monday and Wednesday and have gone to the gym Tuesday and today.  Then I will do boot camp on Friday morning.  I am hoping this 5 day a week exercise schedule during the week will enable me to take the weekends off and enjoy the kids.

That is all!  Have a great Thursday.

Motivational Monday

How many times in life do we continue to make the same mistakes and then wonder why things always turn out the same?

I know I wondered this for years.

Then I realized I was the one that was going to have to change in order to get a different outcome.

Simple right?

Oh how my life would have been so much easier if I had just realized this at 22 instead of 40. 

I hope you have had a fantastic Monday.

Remember:  we ALWAYS have a choice, so make one you won't regret.