Sunday Weigh In...............

Drum roll please...............

I almost fainted when I stepped on the scale this morning.

230.......I haven't seen 230 in 5 years!!

That is -5 lbs. this week.  I credit the 2 miles per day I started walking after dinner.  Loosing weight really gives you an energy boost!

I am hoping next week I will be in the 220's.  My mini goal is to be 225 by the 22nd of August.  That is the day the kids go back to school.

I just want to shock all the other mommies at pick-up.  I would say I would shock them in the morning but my kids lovingly refer to me as the pajama chauffeur. 

P.S. Does anyone out there in blog land take B-12 vitamins or get B-12 shots?  I am thinking of adding it to my vitamin menagerie.

Major NSV

Tonight I had a major NSV. 

I have been working on and off all day on my computer.  Stuck in a chair.  In my cramped office.  Just sitting. 

About 7:15 I decided I was bored.  I was getting a bit claustrophobic (I had not been able to swim today).  I needed a change.

Before band I would have plopped my fat butt down in a chair with a bucket of popcorn and vegged.  Because well, I have been working hard all day.....I deserve a little break.

But that is not what I did.  I didn't even think about eating (HUH?).  I laced up my tennies and went for a 3 mile walk with my oldest daughter.

I wore my daughter out.  I would have walked longer but she kept complaining about the heat (it was still around 97 here). 

I remember about a month after being banded I tried to walk and it lasted about 15 minutes before I was huffing and puffing.  Who knew not even 6 months later I would walk 3 miles and I am not falling over from exhaustion. 

I know that they say this band is not magic.........but, to me it is.  Every day I am so thankful that my band has given me a new lease on life.  And this time around, I am not going to waste it on the couch.

4th Fill

I went to the surgeon for my 4th fill today.  Even though I have been loosing around 3 lbs. per week (by his estimate) I needed a slight tweak as I am starving between meals.   He inserted .3 cc's into my belly.  Now I am at 5.5 cc's.  I am hoping this is my green zone.

Anyway, have I mentioned I adore my surgeon and his staff?  He is the first doctor in a long time to give me good news (other than my OBGYN).  I do not mind at all going to weigh.  That is a huge, I mean HUGE, accomplishment.  He thinks I am pretty close to the green zone.  In fact, I kind of had to talk him into a small tweak.  That is the problem with being a bit of an over-achiever.  I struggle, but do not let myself go over calories so on the scale and the BMI charts I am accomplishing more than I should be.

Well the other day I posted a question about volume of food or calorie count.  I asked my surgeon and he said he does not care about volume if I am religiously counting calories.  He said  I shouldn't mess with a good thing.  I think I tend to over analyze things a bit.  I am a black and white rule follower kind of gal so it throws me for a loop when he won't give me specific guidelines.  I should be thankful he thinks I am doing well. 

I am back on liquids for 48 hours.........which sucks!!!!  However, if you order a Starbucks Skinny Latte with a scoop of protein powder it is around 150 calories and 21 grams of protein.  That makes liquids worth it!  Today I can justify liquid calories...............aaaawwwwwwww heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fooled

One day my hubby told me he had enough of the ground turkey meat.  He claims to be able to tell a huge difference in flavor from ground beef.  He is so tuned to his taste buds he claims to even be able to taste the difference in tacos and spagetti (with tons of seasoning).

Well, he knows me well enough to know what I would do next.  Can you guess?

I made spagetti last night WITH ground turkey in the sauce.  I told him it was really lean beef.  Could he tell the difference?  NO!

After consuming the spagetti he said it was really good.  Then he asked me if it was turkey.  I replied of course not!  It is really lean meant don't ya think?

The man has been married to me for over 15 yrs.  Yet, he believed me.

Some people are soooooooooo gullible.

I'm Soooooooooooooooo Confused!!!!!

I am very confused and maybe some of you out in blog land will shed a little light on this topic for me.

When I went to the nutritionist she clearly told me to eat around 1,200 calories per day.  She said they do not even discuss diets below 1,200 calories.

So.........................

I mainly keep track of my calories (myfitnesspal is my BFF).  I strive to eat between 1,000 to 1,200 but more towards the 1,200 range.  Yes, it clearly has been working for me.

But....................

I am reading that banded patients should eat about 1-1 1/2 cups per meal.  I have even seen some posts on LBT that say posters eat 1/4 cup or 1/2 cup only.

This seems a little absurd to me.  Wouldn't I starve if I only at 1/4 cup of food 3 times a day?

So, my question for you all is this.........If I am eating 1,200 and keeping my portions to approximately 1 to 1 1/2 cups (because really that is all I can eat without being uncomfortable)  will I stretch my pouch?

I think I am doing the right thing and focusing on calories but so many people talk about volume.

Well, that is my conundrum.

Please post and tell me if I am eating too much!

Changing My Frame Of Mind

My whole frame of mind has changed due to my band.  Let me explain................

Pre-op when the nurse told me I needed to loose 32 lbs. to qualify for surgery I wondered how on Earth I would accomplish it.  It seemed like an insurmountable task.  "32 lbs!,"  I cried, "If I could loose 32 lbs. I wouldn't need Lap-Band,"  I complained.

Fast forward 5 months...................

I have 36 more pounds to loose until I hit Onederland.  My thoughts now........

36 lbs. is nothing!  I will kick 36 lbs.' ass before Christmas.

Why the change?  Well, I definitely have more confidence in my abilities these days.  And my confidence has come from being banded.

The band has given me back my self-confidence that had been weighed down by 318 lbs. 

How freeing!!!



Goodbye Plateau!

Dear Plateau,

I just kicked your ass! 

Sincerely,
Woman on a mission

Liquid Calories

I used to drink Diet Coke...........by the case.  Really, if I could have had an IV drip, I would have.  The withdrawls of my habit were one of the things that scared me about the band.  They told me I could never have a Diet Coke again............and I nearly fainted in the exam room.

But, it has not been a hard habit to break.  Honestly, I do not think about Diet Coke at all now.  And I won't even let myself have a sip because I know that if I did...........I'd be back to drinking Diet Coke.  I think I was kind of like an alchoholic.......minus the alchohol plus the Diet Coke.

Now, I have been drinking coffee.  Just one or two cups a day which my surgeon gave the stamp of approval as long as I use sugar free creamer. 

I log everything on myfitnesspal.com.  And when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING.  Which can be both good and bad (you quickly see your bad habits).  Well, my bad habit has been sugar free creamer.  Not sugar free syrup which has little to no calories.................sugar free creamer which has 30 calories per tablespoon.  For someone like me that dumps 2 (!) tablespoons per cup of coffee X 2 cups per day = 120 liquid calories...........OUCH!

So, today I started putting  of  1/8 c. skim milk + 1/2 tablespoon creamer + 1/2 tsp. Splenda per cup of coffee = 26 calories per cup X 2 cups = 52 calories per day of liquid calories.  Get the math? You didn't know you were going to need basic algebra for this blog!

52 liquid calories I can live with.  Plus, the skim milk has at least 1 g of protein.

I never thought I would be one to count calories so obsessively but, go figure I have become someone who cares what they put in their mouth. 

I know the band is just a tool, but I want to use my tool to the best of my ability.  After all, I didn't have this surgery for nothing!

No More Sonic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only reason I am allowing this picture on my blog  is because I want visual proof of my accomplishments.  I found this picture yesterday while browsing through documents on my computer.  Yes, that is me on the far right in the purple shirt.  The picture makes me want to cry.

You see at this point, I had given up.  I didn't care.  I ate to push down any pain that I felt.  I ate to fill boredom.  I ate simply because I could.

I don't even recognize the woman in the picture.  She no longer exists. 

I know I am far from my goal, but I have come a long way.  There is no way in hell I am going back down that road. 

So, if I need to look at this picture daily to remind myself to stay on my "bandwagon"....then so be it.  In fact, I think I may frame it and put it on my fridge as a visual reminder that fast food really is the devil.

PMS & Other Girlie Problems

Last Monday I woke up with the most excruciatingly painful cramps.  It felt like labor pains.  Since I didn't want to be one of those morons on a reality show that finds out when she is giving birth that she is preggers (it is always the fat chicks), I made an appointment with my Gyno the next day.

Let me begin by saying I haven't been to the Gyno in 5 1/2 yrs (gasp!).  I know, I know........shame on me!  But really, I have avoided any doctor that would make me step on a scale.

Anyway, I think my doctor was shocked to see me.  And he had to check my parts to find out what was going on.

I forgot to mention I have an IUD.  My IUD expires in 5 yrs.  It had been 5 1/2 yrs.  Uh..............

Seems it was rattling around down there.  He had to remove it and order a new one.

I told him I know that it dislodged because of my weight loss......EVERYTHING has shrunk.  He almost laughed his way out of the exam room.

Now, minus IUD I have the most terrible cramps I have had in 5 yrs. (I have not had a period in 5 yrs!).  So, needless to say I am a complete BITCH.  And that is an understatement.

My hubby (who likes to joke a lot) made the comment that he has a week (while the IUD is on order) to knock me up. 

I asked him if he liked his dilly-wacker.

 

Did you know?

Did you know that Crystal Light makes a Margarita Lime flavored drink? 

I have been jonesing for a rita but can not justify the calorie content.  So, I found this Crystal Light to replace it.  Sure it doesn't have the alcohol but, it curbs my craving for a Chili's Presidente Margarita.  Plus mommy can't really drive the kids to the pool after drinking a rita anyway.

Also, Crystal Light makes a Cherry Limeade flavor for when I am craving Sonic Happy Hour drinks.

I may have to check out their website to see what other brilliant flavors they have. 

Too Large for A Seat............

I am always trolling the Internet.   Yesterday, I came across a story that really got me thinking. 

The gist of the story is this:  A woman went to a concert and could not fit in the seat provided.  After her friend complained to the theatre their seats were promptly upgraded.  The poster asked the question:  Would you be angry at the theatre for giving this woman really expensive seats because she could not fit into the seats she purchased? The seats were apparently several hundred dollars more per person.

(Here is the direct link to the original post. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/274425-too-large-for-a-seat-did-the-venue-respond-correctly )

First, my heart goes out to the woman who is too big to fit in her seat.  EVERYONE who is extremely heavy has had this fear.  Whether it is a restaurant,  theatre or airplane we have all had this thought cross our minds.....am I too large to fit in the seat?

Just the thought of the other people staring would be enough to send me into a full blown anxiety attack.  I have to admit, she has has more courage than me to even venture out.  For years I have avoided places that I think I may not fit.  Flying.........no way!  Restaurant..............table please, no booth.   Theatre......forget it!

As my pounds drop, I hope I will gain courage to do things I once thought scary. 
I just hope I do not become one of those "tsk-tsk"ers that frown on people who are larger than them.  Maybe my weight loss will inspire others not intimidate them. 

In other words, I hope I keep my "fat girl" personality in my thin girl body.

Scale Stalking

Hello, my name is Brenda and I am a scale stalker.

I didn't used to be a stalker.  In fact, I was a scale avoider.  Now I step on the scale 2, 3 even 4 times a day.  Why?  Do I think I will magically loose 5 lbs. in a matter of hours?

I don't get upset when the scale fluctuates during the day.  I know that the next morning it will go back to normal.  I know that during the week my weight goes on a wild roller coaster ride before settling a bit lower than the previous week (hopefully).  I know this because I track food and exercise with religious zeal.

But, I still stalk.

So, in a goal to be free from the shackles of the scale,  I have vowed to weigh only once per week.  I am making my day Saturday.  Saturday morning that is.  I will stand completely dry in my birthday suit and log the weekly number.

This morning was 241.  Hopefully next week will be a couple pounds lower.  And hopefully I will not go through a week of scale withdrawals from former stalking.

To Tell Or Not To Tell

When I first decided to get banded I told my husband I was only going to tell a few close friends and family.  I didn't want the judgement that sometimes comes with weight loss surgery.

However, since becoming banded my whole attitude has changed.  For once the scale is miraculously going down.  Is it just the band?  Hell no!  I have to track every morsel that enters my mouth before it is deposited on my stomach and thighs.  I have to exercise to get my non-existent metabolism going.  But, it is a tool that has made me VERY accountable.  And that in itself is magic............at least in my book.

So lately when I am approached and told how great I am looking, asked how many pounds I have lost and asked my secret I begin to tell the truth.  The band is my way to be accountable to myself.

I thought I would run into a few sceptics but so far I have not.   Maybe it is my enthusiasm.  Maybe they talk behind my back about how I could do it the "hard" way if I had just tried. 

The fact is.....I don't care!  I am happy with myself, my band and the way my life is headed. 

To me if I did not tell the truth I would feel that I had let someone down.  I know several people that are looking into the surgery because I DID tell them.  Maybe, just maybe I will give someone the courage to walk into a seminar and change their lives for the positive. 

And that is worth telling my secret any day!

And The Winner Of The Best Protein Shake Goes To............................

I have become quite the expert on protein drinks. 

I have tried them: with skim milk, shaken and not stirred, blenderized, watered down, iced to frap consistency, pre-mixed, extra proteined, light, un-light.................

You get the picture.

So, when I went to GNC yesterday (which in itself was a NSV (non-scale victory) since I really wanted McDonalds) and found a pre-mixed protein drink that was in the refrigerated case I wasn't expecting anything special.  In fact, I was expecting a chalk-like after taste. 

Instead, I got a very great surprise.

It was yummy.  I mean really, really, lip-smacking yummy. The flavor was Vanilla Ice Cream and it actually tasted like, get this..............vanilla ice cream!!!!

So, my award for the best protein shake goes to...................................

Drum roll please...........................................................

Lean Body On the Go! Protein Shake

Made by Labrada

(http://www.leanbody.com/)

They also have Strawberry and Chocolate flavor.  It was by far the best shake I have tasted and the best part is it has ZERO sugar and 25g of protein with only 5g Carbs (4g of the Carbs are from Fiber).



Taking Family Pictures

It has been quite awhile since I let any of my family take pictures of me.  I have avoided it like the plague.  Being heavy and the camera do not go hand in hand. 

Really  I did not want to document how I looked.  I was ashamed that I could not control the eating.  Ashamed that food had control over me.  And really, who would want to see that printed on Kodak paper?

So, today I did the unthinkable.............I took a picture.  Because now there is hope. 

It is my daughter's 9th birthday.  I will not forget this in years to come.  The picture is proof that I have lost a lot of weight and gained back my self respect in the process.

If I can (and I am) beating this weight issue.....................there is nothing I can not do.

 Lily's 9th Birthday

Tales of my Hairless Scalp

So, I am in the shower.  I look down and this is what I see........................

(Seriously, isn't that disgusting!)

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  There is a giant hairball in my shower that resembles Cousin It.  Not funny. 

I have been noticing that when I run my fingers through my hair 5 or 6 strands come out.  That my brush needs a good cleaning every other day.  That my hair is super dry and not growing fast.  But, nothing could be more shocking than finding a giant wad of hair in the shower.

Those of us that have been heavy awhile know what our "good" features are.  They are the features people refer to when they want to side step the whole weight issue.  My good features are: my hair and my nose.

So, yes I am a bit vain about my hair.

Today, I am planning trip that will consist of going to the health food store to buy Biotin for my thinning hair.  Not that anyone would notice my hair loss.  Luckily, I have enough hair for 5 people.

Well, off to GNC.

WTH?

Okay, I am getting mad.......

I am reading through blogs and for some reason Blogger will not let me post any comments.

Any suggestions for the dim witted (ME) would be appreciated.

How truly frustrating...............did I mention that my husband is a computer programmer...........obviously, the techie mumbo jumbo did not rub off on me!

The Scale has Tipped!

I am ecstatic that the scale has tipped in my favor.  What I mean by that is that now I have lost more weight than I still have to reach goal. 

I wish I could tell you I do not eat bad and that I am a good little Lap-Band patient.  Oh, I track everything religiously but Momma still likes Cheetos and 3 Musketeers bars!

The difference is now I make sure to add everything into my calorie count to figure out how many calories I have left for the day.

And isn't a 1/2 of a 3 Musketeers bar and a cup of coffee the perfect breakfast (it is only around 150 calories)?  No judgement please!