PMS & Other Girlie Problems

Last Monday I woke up with the most excruciatingly painful cramps.  It felt like labor pains.  Since I didn't want to be one of those morons on a reality show that finds out when she is giving birth that she is preggers (it is always the fat chicks), I made an appointment with my Gyno the next day.

Let me begin by saying I haven't been to the Gyno in 5 1/2 yrs (gasp!).  I know, I know........shame on me!  But really, I have avoided any doctor that would make me step on a scale.

Anyway, I think my doctor was shocked to see me.  And he had to check my parts to find out what was going on.

I forgot to mention I have an IUD.  My IUD expires in 5 yrs.  It had been 5 1/2 yrs.  Uh..............

Seems it was rattling around down there.  He had to remove it and order a new one.

I told him I know that it dislodged because of my weight loss......EVERYTHING has shrunk.  He almost laughed his way out of the exam room.

Now, minus IUD I have the most terrible cramps I have had in 5 yrs. (I have not had a period in 5 yrs!).  So, needless to say I am a complete BITCH.  And that is an understatement.

My hubby (who likes to joke a lot) made the comment that he has a week (while the IUD is on order) to knock me up. 

I asked him if he liked his dilly-wacker.