I Am FINALLY Calling It

I have procrastinated long enough.

Thinking perhaps the scale will go down a bit more.  You can scratch that barring a stomach virus that may take me to the 150's,  where I will linger for a day until I get hydrated again.

I am in my happy place.  Right here at 161-165.  That is where the scale is every morning.  It has been like this for the last 3 months.  At first, I wanted to deny it,  but why?  Why would I put so much stock in a number?  Especially, when I am at my healthiest adult weight ever.

Yesterday, Vicky and I were e-mailing back and forth.  We were discussing scale numbers.  And as we were talking, I suddenly realized why it has been bothering me to call "maintenance". 

I have NEVER been here.

Never taken a stroll down Maintenance Lane.  EVER.

Even as a teenager and young adult I was constantly battling keeping the number on the scale from going up.  My whole life has been a diet.  I have never experienced maintenance.  It is very uncharted water for me.

And, I don't like change.  I am comfortable in Diet Land.  It is something I am good at.  Losing.  Keeping weight off has always been a battle. 

Maintenance makes me uneasy.

All the questions that spin through my head.....

Will I be able to keep this weight?  How many calories should I focus on?  How many hours of exercise do I need to put in?  What will my "freak out' number on the scale be?  Will I be successful? What's my plan?  Where do I go from here?

Then I told myself:

JUST BREATHE.  JUST ENJOY THIS.  YOU HAVE EARNED THIS.  YOU GOT THIS.

I have done the work.  I have changed my lifestyle.  I know portion sizes.  I know the vegetable to carb ratio that needs to be on my plate.  I could quote you the protein and calories of most foods in my sleep.  I have worked with the head issues that come with weight loss.  I know that being active is key for me.

So, today I am calling it.

Maintenance.

I am joining the others on the bench that have come before me. 

15 months and 155 lbs. lost...................maintenance begins.

Time to Get Real

If you don't read anything else today, read Ronnie's post. 

It is time to get real!!!!

Motivational Monday

Do you like yourself?

I am not talking about liking your physical self.  I am talking about liking who you are as a person.

For years I hated myself.  I didn't want to be alone with myself.  That would have meant I had to deal with all the things I hated about me.

But, this past year and a half has completely shifted my thinking.

I don't mind being alone anymore.

Why?

Because I actually like me.  I would want to be my friend if I had just met myself.  The hubs jokes that I am quite smitten with myself.  Maybe he is right.  I sure deserve that after all the years I spent fighting myself internally.

What do I like?  Well....................

I am funny.  I am strong.  I am determined.  I am loyal.  I am trustworthy.  I am smart.  I have really good hair and I kinda like my nose. There are so many things that I could name that I truly like about me.

Are there still things I don't like?  Yeah.  There are.  Probably always will be.  But the good now outweighs the bad.

That baffles my mind.  The thought that I actually like me now.

Along this weight loss journey there will come a time when you have to deal with all the emotional mumbo-jumbo that is spinning inside your head. There is no way around it. 

So today I ask you:  Do you like being you?

If the answer is still no, then figure out how you can get to a point that you want to be with the most important person you know..........you.  You are worth knowing.

Have a fantastic Monday!

Another Round Of Ten Things Thursday

Is it Thursday again?  I guess so.  Which can only mean:

Ten Things Thursday, brought to us by Laura at Beer, Dogs and Getting Healthier.

1.  I am already tired of hearing/reading about this TomKat split.  I really don't care.  Seriously.  And that he didn't see this coming?  PLLLLEEEEAAAASE.  I saw this coming when he jumped like a moron on Oprah's couch and confessed his love.  Even a blind man could see this coming.  Quit your whining and grow a pair Tom. Oh, and P.S.  Get your checkbook ready because you are about to write Katie a big fat check.  And P.P.S.  I'd like to see you give birth and squeeze a watermelon out of your manhood and not make a sound.  IDIOT!

2.  Yesterday, I went to boot camp at the crack of dawn (actually before).  5:30 to be exact.  And had a completely insane day.  Between boot camp, VBS, swimming and a VBS party, we finally made it home at 8:30 last night.  I had been home maybe a few hours during the middle of the day.  Maybe.  I was telling a friend that there was NO WAY I could have been this active 2 years ago.  Oh how life has changed.  Living is good.

3.  My car looks like a rolling trash can.  Probably because for the last 4 days we have basically been living in it.  I am afraid to open doors because crap may fly out and hurt someone.  It is so bad that it will take a shovel to get trash out.  Lucky for my kids I believe in child labor.  I will supervise while lounging in a lawn chair with a nice glass of wine tonight.

4.  We have an attack chicken.  Since the hubs believes in letting the chickens roam around "free range" (in other words, he is being to lazy to built a chicken coup), there is a hen that chases the puppy around.  Hysterical.  If you could only see the puppies eyes bug out.   Yesterday, the puppy actually was chasing the chicken and by the time they rounded the corner of the house, the chicken was chasing the puppy.  It's like a reality show of a Looney Toons episode.

5. I am going to make my kids nap today.  For my sanity.  We are all going to have "quiet time" for at least an hour.  I need it....bad.....or mommy may go psycho and be on the six o'clock news. 

6.  My kids want me to make fried chicken.  I don't even know how to make that.  Can't I just go to KFC?  I don't eat fried chicken so, I never cook it.  What do I look like?  A chef?  A colonel with a white beard and skinny black tie?  Believe me, they don't want me making them fried chicken.  It would be a catastrophe. We would all be praying to the porcelain god to give us sweet, sweet release from the poison that I fed them.

7. My intention was to get up this morning and go to the gym.  Blah!  The gym.  I hate the gym.  Well, that didn't happen.  Then my intention was to go run tonight with a friend.  Again, that ain't happening folks.  This getting up early every morning at the crack of dawn has caught up with me.  But, I WILL get up tomorrow and go to boot camp.  Even if on the way home I have to stop at 'Bucks and get me a quadruple latte.

8.  At VBS this week they have a "snack" room.  Or as I like to call it......Satan's den.  Yep, two long tables of temptation that can throw off all my hard work for the week.  What little old lady is staying up late at night just to cook these wonderful lard-laced goodies?  No wonder I can't stay away from the Hersey kiss cookies?????  They are pure heaven.  Heaven (in my mind) is a wonderful place filled with cookie houses.  Cookies make everything better.  Dontcha think?

9.  There is a theme to my day:  COOKIES.  My daughter just baked some and is trying to be a cookie pusher.  They so know how to tempt me. 

10. 

Happy Cookies, I mean Thursday, everyone!!!!

Workout Wednesday..........That Little Voice In Your Head

That little voice tormented me for years.

You can't do that you're to............fat, huge, ugly, worthless, chunky, have bad knees, had a stroke, to old.

You know the voice.  That irritating little thing that makes you assume that you can't even try something because you will fail.

But how do you know you will fail? Especially if you never try.

I listened to that voice.  I followed that voice.  I built a nice cozy little home in my head for that voice and invited it to take residence.  That voice made me feel bad about myself.  Loathe myself.  Have such bitter disdain for myself.

Well, this morning, I got to tell the voice it is a LIAR.

I did something that I thought I NEVER would do.  EVER.

I went to boot camp.

Yep.

Boot camp.  At 5:30 in the morning. 

And I enjoyed it (GASP).  Seriously (it may be all the endorphins that are pumping through my body right now that are talking).

I felt empowered, capable and strong.  Me.....strong?!  Who would have thought?!  I would have told you to shut your mouth if you had said I would have enjoyed a boot camp a year ago.

I am feeling very accomplished right now.  Probably because I am NOT a morning person and getting up at the crack of dawn is still new and exciting to me.

Anyway, go out there today and tell that voice that is a LIAR.

Just do what you are physically capable of.  Whether it is walking around the block, running, strength training, swimming, taking a class....etc.

Just prove to yourself you are capable of doing great things. 

Then, call the voice a liar and kick it out of your head for good!

Happy Workout Wednesday!

Because We All Deserve A Good Laugh

After seeing this on a friends FB page, I actually laughed so hard water came out my nose.

Seriously, who comes up with this?  I want to meet them.  Funny stuff folks.  Funny. Stuff.

So.............

Without further ado...........

I present..........

Real Life Barbie and Ken.

They share a cluttered bathroom and Ken wonders if he will ever see their counter again.   Barbie is wondering if Ken's mom ever taught him to pick up anything  and if he would for once just put his crap away.

Now, if only Barbie had her cell phone instead of a magazine.  Or Ken had a beer belly and Barbie was a little fuller figured.

Poor Ken, he is wondering when the mysteries of their co-habitation fizzled.

Happy Tuesday!!!

Motivational Monday

At the beginning of my journey, I made one promise to myself:  NO EXCUSES.

No excuses ever.

I quit lying to myself.  Pretending I didn't eat my way to 318 lbs.  Pretending that I exercised.  Pretending and hiding.  I was really good at that.

But then my band gave me hope.  It didn't do the work for me but for the first time I could keep off that 30 pounds at the beginning of a diet.  So with that hope came change.

Change and NO EXCUSES.

Because now, there is no reason for me not to be active.  I am quite cable.  I am also quite capable of eating right 90% of the time.

Do I slip up?

Yes.

Because I am human.  But, I don't make excuses when I do anymore.  I just shake it off and try harder the next time.

Repeat after me:  NO EXCUSES, NO EXCUSES, NO EXCUSES.

You got this.  You can do it.  Forget the stumbles that you have encountered along the way and focus on the overall prize.

The prize is a healthy life.  Full of living.  It is definitely worth it.