Ten Things Thursday, brought to us by Laura at Beer, Dogs and Getting Healthier.
1. I am already tired of hearing/reading about this TomKat split. I really don't care. Seriously. And that he didn't see this coming? PLLLLEEEEAAAASE. I saw this coming when he jumped like a moron on Oprah's couch and confessed his love. Even a blind man could see this coming. Quit your whining and grow a pair Tom. Oh, and P.S. Get your checkbook ready because you are about to write Katie a big fat check. And P.P.S. I'd like to see you give birth and squeeze a watermelon out of your manhood and not make a sound. IDIOT!
2. Yesterday, I went to boot camp at the crack of dawn (actually before). 5:30 to be exact. And had a completely insane day. Between boot camp, VBS, swimming and a VBS party, we finally made it home at 8:30 last night. I had been home maybe a few hours during the middle of the day. Maybe. I was telling a friend that there was NO WAY I could have been this active 2 years ago. Oh how life has changed. Living is good.
3. My car looks like a rolling trash can. Probably because for the last 4 days we have basically been living in it. I am afraid to open doors because crap may fly out and hurt someone. It is so bad that it will take a shovel to get trash out. Lucky for my kids I believe in child labor. I will supervise while lounging in a lawn chair with a nice glass of wine tonight.
4. We have an attack chicken. Since the hubs believes in letting the chickens roam around "free range" (in other words, he is being to lazy to built a chicken coup), there is a hen that chases the puppy around. Hysterical. If you could only see the puppies eyes bug out. Yesterday, the puppy actually was chasing the chicken and by the time they rounded the corner of the house, the chicken was chasing the puppy. It's like a reality show of a Looney Toons episode.
5. I am going to make my kids nap today. For my sanity. We are all going to have "quiet time" for at least an hour. I need it....bad.....or mommy may go psycho and be on the six o'clock news.
6. My kids want me to make fried chicken. I don't even know how to make that. Can't I just go to KFC? I don't eat fried chicken so, I never cook it. What do I look like? A chef? A colonel with a white beard and skinny black tie? Believe me, they don't want me making them fried chicken. It would be a catastrophe. We would all be praying to the porcelain god to give us sweet, sweet release from the poison that I fed them.
8. At VBS this week they have a "snack" room. Or as I like to call it......Satan's den. Yep, two long tables of temptation that can throw off all my hard work for the week. What little old lady is staying up late at night just to cook these wonderful lard-laced goodies? No wonder I can't stay away from the Hersey kiss cookies????? They are pure heaven. Heaven (in my mind) is a wonderful place filled with cookie houses. Cookies make everything better. Dontcha think?
9. There is a theme to my day: COOKIES. My daughter just baked some and is trying to be a cookie pusher. They so know how to tempt me.
10.
Happy Cookies, I mean Thursday, everyone!!!!
I read "rolling trash can" and started laughing outloud! Why? Because I have the same issue! :)
ReplyDeleteYay for bootcamp! And yay for lifestyle changes!
Sarah
www.thinfluenced.com
I too was laughing out loud at this post so funny..
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious! I too have a cookie addiction....it aint pretty And ditto on TomKat - duh!
ReplyDeleteI could agree with you more about the whole TomKat CRAP!! LOL
ReplyDeletewhat is with those hersey kiss cookies...num num!
ReplyDeleteOk, I just spit water on my keyboard!! I love you, lady...I REALLY needed a laugh today!!
ReplyDeleteI know, I'm sick of the TomKat thing too. I still think it was all a 'contract'. Like, she gets shitloads of money and a kid if she marries him and stays with him X amount of years. Because really, who gets a divorce in just 2 weeks???!!!
ReplyDeleteOk, moving on. You need to video the puppy/chicken thing. THIS I've got to see!!!
Happy Cookies!!!
I'm with Laura on the chicken v puppy video. You could make a fortune.
ReplyDeleteCookie pushers are the worst! My mema's like that. Even my boys know me! "Mama can't eat bread," they tell anyone and everyone who will listen.
ReplyDeleteI always say I'm gonna end up on the news one day, these kids... we need to get 'em together and let them go nuts while we drink some wine together. lol