Weight Loss Ticker

About Me

My photo
TX, United States
I am a 39 yr. old stay at home mom to 3 girls ages 10, 9 and 7. My goal is to be fit by 40! I want to lead a healthier lifestyle. I was banded on 4/5/2011. I tend to be a bit on the sarcastic and cynical side. I love to read, hate to excersise (but am learning to tolerate it!), love to shop and want to smack anyone who is a size 2 (not really!). I am learning to work with my band and my new self one day at a time!

Contact Info

Please feel free to e-mail me at brendamyers@msn.com

Follow by Email

Powered by Blogger.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Word For 2012

Here is my word for 2012.  DEDICATED.  I chose this word because in the past I tend to lose focus on what I want to accomplish.  Not this time though.  I am dedicated to my goal.  I want to be the healthiest I can be.   My 40th birthday is coming up (June 6th) and I want to know that I have worked my hardest to be the best 40 yr. old I can be.



devoted: wholeheartedly devoted or committed to a goal, cause, or job
intended only for one purpose: designed to carry out only one task, or set aside for a specific purpose
"relayed via a dedicated satellite link"
ded·i·cat·ed·ly ADVERB

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Zumba Is Not For Everyone

Last night I went to my very first Zumba class with one of my besties.  I have been looking forward to this for months.  I know some of you adore it and I couldn't wait to try it out and see what all the fuss was about.  And while I had a lot of fun (mainly laughing at my white girl dance style), I have to admit...........I am not a fan.

I am shocked.  I love to dance.  But when I work out, I need to feel the burn.  I need to push myself really hard.  I want that sweet runners high.  I want to work out some aggression by kick boxing or running to loud angry music.  That is just my workout style.

What did I love about the class?  I loved the fact that I went the whole way through and never once thought about giving up.  I wasn't winded to the point of gasping for air.  I wasn't the biggest one in class.  I am strong and can hold my own.  I am in really good shape physically (thank you band!).

Would I do it again with friends?  Absolutely.  It was fun.  Would I do it for my workout routine on a daily basis?  No, it isn't something I would stick with.

Anyway, on the way home I stopped at the Wally World to check out training videos (I feel the need to incorporate some into my walking/running routine).  And I found this................

Have I ever mentioned my little crush on Dolvett?  No? Well, I think he is absolutely gorgeous.  We watch TBL just so I can see his beautiful face (and hot body!).  I would be in the gym EVERY hour of EVERY day if I had a trainer that looked like him.  My girls laugh at me and say I am a desperate housewife.  Perhaps that is true.  But, if watching him workout will help me stay focused then bring on the "At-Home Challenge". 

Happy Wednesday everyone!!!!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

New Years Resolutions?????

I am trying to decide whether or not to make a New Year's Resolution.

The decision is really stumping me.

In past years, I made resolutions to lose weight, workout more, eat better, etc.  But, 2011 has been a pretty good year for me health wise.

Should I make a New Year's Resolution and mess with what I have been perfecting this year?  Or, should I leave well enough alone?

If the past is an indicator of my success than I may want to stay clear of any resolutions that pertain to weight loss.

So this year I am resolving to.....................................trust myself.  Because, I have never trusted myself or my decisions when it came to my weight.  I am resolving to actually listen to my body and my band.  To, quit second guessing myself.  To own the success that I have had and trust that I will make the choices I need to get to goal.

Trust..................it is really scary for me.  Especially, trusting myself.

Have you made any New Year's Resolutions? If so, what are they?

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Game On!

Something Vicky at My Shrinking Belly said really hit home for me.

I am right at 190 now.  190.2 to be exact.  And I am comfortable here.  People are amazed by my success.  My health has not been this good in 15 years.  I think I look pretty darn good.  But am I willing to settle here?  When I only have 15 lbs. to my big goal? 

I did not have LB to settle.  I had it to gain control of an aspect of my life that lacked any discipline.  It was a last chance effort to get my health back on track.  This for me is the last resort. 

So, am I going to let the Christmas cookies win?  Let the chocolate and candy control me?

No.  I am not.  I will not.  I am stronger than food.  It will not win this time.

So thanks, Vicky, for helping me see it is not acceptable to settle here at 190. 

And to food, I say...............Game on!  I am stronger than you.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

I Swear I Am Not Lost.............

Really, I am here (at least in spirit lately!).  But, since the whirlwind of Disn@y W*rld at Thanksgiving my universe has been in constant chaos.

Let me paint you a picture.

Thanksgiving at the big D-World.  Where we all had the dreaded stomach flu.  Yep, fun times.  But, what a great trip.  It will be something we always remember.  And.........I fit with tons of room in airline seats and rides.  Nope...........my fear of being escorted to a larger seat never happened.  I walked circles around my kids..........they kept complaining and I just kept walking.  That is a great feeling! 

The Saturday after we returned, I had PTO winter carnival.  Since I am the president, that means I am in charge.  I spent probably 40+ hours at the school that week.  My laundry room is still packed with dirty clothes from our trip!

Here is a picture of Lesley and I working our elf magic at the carnival.

Last week...........more PTO.  This time of year seems to be really busy with parties and events.  Did I mention I think I might be crazy for accepting this gig?!  Or at least maybe I will go crazy.

One thing that has not changed.............I have walked EVERY day.  That is non-negotiable for me.  It is my time.  My little sanity break.  My cell phone stays off until about 10 and everyone knows not to bother me.

I have not been logging my food for 3 weeks either.  And you know what?  I have been continually losing.  I actually think I may be eating less since I do not know how many calories I have to play with.  But, I am going to start tracking again because my type A personality is getting the best of me.

This week.........more class parties, a PTO Santa store for the kids, church pageant and Christmas with my parents. 

I sure am glad I have lost a lot of weight because I know I would have NEVER been able to keep up with my crazy life if I was 100+ more pounds.

So, yes right now is crazy with a capital C but..................I am living again.  I am present in my own life.  Life is good!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Ten Things Thursday

Ten Things Thursday............created by Laura at Beer, Dogs and Getting Healthier.

  1. I had a busy and great weekend.  Waco Saturday.  I got to meet lots of wonderful ladies!  So much fun.  I can not wait to do it again!  Then, our high school played a playoff game at Baylor stadium.  Sunday, we had Hannah's birthday party at the park.  I set up Minute To Win It style games.  I think all the kids had a blast!  That is something I definitely would not have done before losing weight.  That would have been way to much activity.
  2. Tonight I have a PTO meeting and the 4th grade musical program.  I will be serving juice and cookies to the little singers.
  3. I have eaten tons of chocolate due to PMS.  I thought the scale would punish me but it hasn't.  I just have to make sure to keep in my calorie count for the day.  I am ready for this TOM to disappear.
  4. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my surgeon.  I am pretty sure I need a small tweak.  I am thinking maybe .25.  I am really hungry between meals.  I am satisfied for maybe an hour.  I hope he agrees because Thanksgiving may be brutal without a fill.
  5. This is a huge secret............we are leaving Sunday for Orlando.  The kids do not know it but we are going to Disney World.  It will be a huge surprise (they think we are going to visit family).
  6. I have tons of packing and cleaning to do before our trip.  Those are two of my least favorite things to do.........ever!
  7. It was ice cold this morning for my walk.  35 degrees.  But, I still did it!  That is huge for me because I really wanted to stay in my warm bed.
  8. I am going up to the school in an hour to have a Thanksgiving feast with my youngest daughter.  I think I may just take a coffee.  I don't want the cafeteria food that is laced with sodium.
  9. My sister and her husband are coming next week for Thanksgiving.  We are flying back Thanksgiving day and will stop at my parents to eat.  Then, my sis and I usually do some black Friday shopping at the crack of dawn.  Watch out Walmart!
  10. I haven't even started Christmas shopping.  I know I need to but I have to get through Thanksgiving first.  I am just not in the holiday spirit yet.
That is it!  Have a great Thursday!

Friday, November 11, 2011

What Is Your Secret Passion?

As usual, I am a day late but Ronnie posted the question yesterday, "What is your secret (or not-so-secret) passion?"
I am addicted to thrift stores.  Like seriously addicted.
I think it is because I was a Fashion Merchandising major in college and worked retail for so long.  I REFUSE to pay full price for anything.  And I must say, I can find the BEST deals on the most amazing quality clothing.  I am not just saying that!  Case in point........
Yesterday, I found a 100% cashmere v-neck black sweater and black and white wool tweed Ann Taylor fully lined pants both for..........wait for it................$3.25 a piece at one of my favorite thrifts.
Last week, instead of going to Rack Room shoes, I hit another of my favorite thrifts and found BRAND NEW black leather waterproof boots with the tags still attached (the long kind with the side zip) for $10.00.
Another week, I found I gorgeous faux suede and shearling hooded winter coat that looked brand new for $4.50.  When I got home the tag was still in the coat pocket.........it was a $200 coat.
And I the list could go on, and on, and on......................
I used to have an E-bay store but due to my newly elected PTO position, that requires full time participation, I had to close it for now.  It is what kept me and my kids in a rotation of nice clothing.
So, I guess you could say, what started as a small thrifting habit has become a passion.
Now you know!!!
Oh, and for those of you that will see me tomorrow in Waco........head to to thrift clothes.  No lie.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

10 Things Thursday

Today is Thursday which means..........................10 Things Thursday!  This Thursday tradition was started by Laura at Beer, Dogs and Getting Healthier.

1.  I have just gotten home from running errands.  I have been gone since 8:30 a.m. this morning.  Between home stuff, kid stuff, husband stuff and PTO stuff I am beat!  I am turning off the cell phone and cleaning my house tomorrow.  In peace, in my jammies and with loud music.

2.  I just remembered I have a conference in the morning with my daughter's principal.  It seems a boy in her class has been calling her profane names, shooting her birds and tearing holes in her $80.00 Adidas.  I am going to make sure he no longer sits next to her in any classes.  I am sure the school would much rather move him than have me sit between them the whole day (yes, I have threatened to go back to 5th grade).

3.  This past Saturday while on our morning walk up the hill a bobcat walked about 100 yds. in front of us.  It was about as tall as my waist.  It stopped looked at us and crossed the road.  This is not an unpopulated area.  And it was not scared.......at all!  I guess we will have to start carrying a rifle or handgun on our walks.  This is Texas, so a concealed weapon is not out of the question :)  Too bad I don't own any firearms.

4.  I will NEVER take a stool softener, drink coffee and go on a walk again.  I am glad I can laugh at myself because accidents do occasionally happen.  Enough said.

5.  I am so looking forward to Saturday!  I get to meet some fellow Texas bloggers in Waco for lunch.  I can not wait! 

6.  Tomorrow is haircut day.  I really wanted to bob it off but hubby said he loves it long.  He told me it is like having a hot new wife with long hair and a better body.  I guess I can't argue with that!

7.  So many of you have motivated me to do this..... I  began to run this week!  That is so crazy to me.  I am doing the C25K training.  Tomorrow will be my 3rd day this week.  You know what?  I LOVE it!  I never thought that I would say those words.  I like to run.

8.  I keep thinking I am coming down with a cold but I have made myself keep working out.  I think I am sweating out the germs.  Is that possible?

9.  My mind is jello right now.  I can't think.  I am that tired.

10.  Oh, the puppies have their eyes open and are starting to get mobile.  They will be ready for new homes soon..........thank you Jesus!

That's it!  Have a great night!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

What's Luck Got To Do With It?!

Yesterday, when I logged my new weight on my fitness pal someone commented that they wish they could be "lucky" like me and have a good weight loss.  I am here to say...............

What's luck got to do with it?

I exercise and eat under my calorie count.  I work hard.  Most of us are working VERY hard to lose this weight.  Luck has nothing to do with it.

When you comment that we are "lucky", you are negating all the work, sweat and tears that have went into our weight loss.  You are writing off the hours, days, weeks, months and years of dedication on our part.

So, luck?  Yeah, it has nothing to do with it.  We aren't lucky, we are just motivated.

Don't sit back waiting for luck to find you.  I am someone who knows from experience.......it won't.  You will be waiting a long time and then you will realize this:  I can create my own luck.  I can change the outcome of my life.  I am the key to my own happiness.

I will leave you today with a useless movie quote:
Cameron in Ferris Buellers Day Off:
I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Onederland Part 2

I seriously must be okay with myself because I NEVER would have posted a picture of myself before without wearing makeup.  I love makeup.  Like LOVE makeup.  I worked in the cosmetic industry for over 10 yrs. before becoming a stay at home mom.  When I say I have enough makeup to last me a lifetime......I am not lying!!!!

Anyway, size 14 Levis.  Regular 14.  No plus sizes for me!  I can shop anywhere now.

I honestly have not thought about being smaller than a 14.  I haven't been a 14 in over 15 yrs.  I guess I need to start stocking up on 12's though.........it is only a matter of time.


Yesterday morning I hit onederland.........199.7 to be exact.  This morning the scale read 199.1 (see below picture). 

I don't know what to say. Other than, I need to clean the hairspray residue off my scale.  YUK!

 It is very surreal to me.  I guess I am going to be in a very quiet reflective mood today.  How very un-Brenda-like!!!

Friday, November 4, 2011


BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy. A couple questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy and paste to your own blog if you wish! Enjoy!

Let’s do another themed BYOC…..this one will be called “What’s In/On Your….?”

1. What’s on your desk between your monitor and keyboard? (if it’s a laptop – what’s on your desk in general)

Crap!  The kids crap to be exact.  A birthday party invitation.  Clothes that my daughter was trying on.  Paint, toys, etc.  I could go on and on.  Nothing of mine!

2. What’s on your mind right at this moment?

That I have to be at the school at 2 to run some copies.  My life is thrilling. :)

3. What’s in or on your nightstand on your side of the bed?

A graveyard of empty water bottles that I need to clean up.  Earplugs, because my hubby saws logs.  A stack of books that I have read.  My oriental blue and white lamp from Pier 1...it is gorgeous!

4. What’s on YOUR Christmas wish list (let’s assume you’d get what was on it)?

Really, nothing comes to mind.  I did ask for some cowboy boots.  Since losing weight I can fit my no longer fat ankles in some boots!  HEE HAW!!

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

In real life, this is one of the busiest weeks of the whole year.  Between Halloween and Hannah's birthday it is crazy!  Today I have finally had a break to sweep and vacuum my floors.

In blog land...........the same.  CrAzY!  I barely have had time to post until last night.  I need to catch up on my reading and commenting over the weekend.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Ten Things Thursday

Today is Thursday, which means.....................10 Thing Thursday, brought to us by Laura at Beer, Dogs and Getting Healthier.

1.  It was cold this morning.  Like a bone chilling 40 degrees with the wind at whipping at 35mph.  I still walked.....in the cold, bundled up.  I call that loyalty!

2.  I also went to the gym.  I swear the two a day workouts may kill me.  My husband may like that since I am insured.  I am probably worth more dead than alive.

3.  I have refused to step on the scale all week.  Friday is my weigh in day.  I am hoping that the scale will go below 200 BUT....I am not holding my breath.  With birthday and Halloween at the beginning of the week, I will actually be happy if the scale didn't budge.

4.  DO NOT BUY CANDY CORN M & M'S.  They are as addictive as crack.  I am lovingly sending the rest of the bag to my one of my besties.  She is 5 foot tall and weighs a whopping 105 lbs. soaking wet.  I will gladly give her the empty calories.

5.  I went to my youngest daughter's school skate night tonight.  I sat there wondering why people I know were walking right by me.  Then a mom I have known for awhile, stopped and said she kept wondering if it was me.  She didn't recognize me.  That is a NSV if there ever was one!

6.  I squeezed myself into a 14 this week.  Not really squeezed either.  14's are definitely fitting better than 16's now.  Oh my poor checkbook!

7.  The puppies are really getting mobile now.  Their eyes are still shut but they are squirming around like little worms. 

8.  Christmas is coming up pretty soon and I don't have a clue what to get the kids.  Plus, I am really not in the holiday mood.  Shouldn't we celebrate Thanksgiving before the Christmas decorations go up?  This decorating before Halloween is ridiculous!!!

9.  My tennis shoes have holes in them.  I have NEVER in my life worn through a pair of shoes.  I am proudly going to bronze them.... holes and all. :)  Maybe, I will display them in a special cabinet that I will have built just for them.  Don't laugh.  I am serious.

10.  I am thinking of cutting my hair off.  I am bored with my long hair.  It goes in a ponytail almost every day.  I was thinking of this cut. 
I am even considering the color which is very close to my natural hair color.  I guess I just want something different.  New body, new hair.  Anyway, I have a hair appointment next Friday. 

Well, that is it!  Have a great night!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Memories Of Food

I am a firm believer that mental health and food go hand in hand.  Just ask most dieters.  They will probably tell you that they eat when they are anxious, upset, mad or sad.  Most of us are emotional eaters.  We associate a feeling with most food. 

  I guess I am at a place in my journey that I am trying to crack the code on why I chose to stuff down my feelings with food.  The other day, it had me thinking of the first real memory I had of food.  Negative or positive. 

I was in 6th grade.  I guess you could say I was a bit chunky for my age. 

My Nana told me I needed to go on a diet.  Now mind you, I was not an obese child by any standard.  I just had a little baby fat that some girls hold onto before they hit puberty. 

I remember her telling me to put my fork down.  I didn't need to eat that (I can't recall what what it was).  I remember being so upset that I stormed outside and sat down on a stump and cried in the neighbors yard.

Of course my Nana followed me.  To check and make sure I was okay.  But, I wasn't.  I felt humiliated and defeated.  I remember her telling me that I needed to follow the Slim-Fast diet.  That I didn't want to be the heavy girl.  That I was too pretty to be heavy.

Then she made me a deal.  Lose the weight and she would treat me to my favorite restaurant.....Mexican food.

Really?  Can anyone else see the irony here?  Lose the weight and I will reward you with what????  FOOD!  Not a cute top, not jeans, not shoes or a handbag.............food.  No wonder I have a love/hate relationship with food.  It has been ingrained in my brain since childhood.

You see, my Nana was a wonderful grandmother but she grew up in another era.  The relationship with food and feelings would have never occurred to her.  That is just how she was raised.  You eat to survive (she grew up in the Great Depression).  Food was a special treat to be savored on special occasions.  Everyday abuse of food would have been gluttonous.

Fast food didn't exist in her world.  A bag of chips?  I really can not remember her having them except on a special occasion.  That whole generation treated food differently than we do.  People actually sat down to meals that were lovingly prepared.  "Made from scratch" was not some marketing gimmick to make you think the frozen dinner did not taste like cardboard.  My Nana's  generation thought about food much differently than we do today. 

What I am realizing is that while I could easily blame my eating habits on how I grew up, I need to be an adult and own up to the fact that I treated food poorly.  It was me that used food as my drug of choice.  No one held a gun to my head and made me eat.  I did it. 

For me that is a huge step in cracking the food code.... the acceptance of responsibility for my actions.  That while my first food memory is not really a pleasant one, it is in the past.  And the past is just that......the past.   

And while the past reveals where I have been in my food journey, it does not dictate my future.  That is up to me.  Everyday is a new opportunity to chart a new course.....to create a new "food map" of sorts to get me to my destination.

Next stop....................lap-band surgery, twoderville, 275, 225, onederland.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Puppy Pictures

This is sooooooooo  not related to weight loss but, I wanted to share the puppy pictures.  These are half pug half weenie dog!  They are so tiny they fit in the palm of my hand.  I wonder if they will still be cute when they get a bit older.  Such  a strange combo! 

Six little noisy rat looking puppies.  One did not make it.  But these six are LOUD.  How can something so small make so much noise?  It is one of lifes little mysteries.

How cute is that?  It is sound asleep with its tongue hanging out!

Isn't the momma gorgeous?  She is probably the prettiest pug I have ever seen.  And she is ROTTEN.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Ten Things Thursday

It is Thursday and that means.....................Ten Things Thursday, brought to you courtesy of the lovely, kind and always funny Laura at Beer, Dogs, and Getting Healthier.  I say this all the time but really, if you aren't a follower of Laura's.............well, go over there right now.  You won't be sorry!

  1. This weekend is lovingly refereed to Hannahpalooza around my house.  With Halloween and my daughter's 11th birthday on Tuesday, we are having 4 days of partying and non stop fun!  I am a little worried about the candy.  I LOVE chocolate.  I pick through the kids candy every year. If they want to go Trick or Treating they have to pay up in Fun Size Snickers!  This year, as I am so close to Onederland, I don't want to indulge to much! Oh, the dilemma!
  2. It is cold here.  Don't laugh.  It is 55 degrees.  In Texas, that is Arctic.  I had to wear a scarf to walk this morning.  The wind was whipping me around!
  3. Yesterday, I reconnected with a friend that I have not talked to in about 8 yrs.  She saw my blog and said I look the same as I did before having my 3 kids.  THANK YOU LAP-BAND!!!!  It feels strange because I have kept people out of my life for so long due to the fact I was embarrassed about my weight.  Now, I can't wait to meet her for lunch one day!  What a great feeling.
  4. I really want to get to Onederland.  Like, I can't stand it!  I don't have a lot of patience.  I know it will be very soon but, I am ready to be there.
  5. Momma dog and all 7 babies are doing great!  Most will have the squashed up pug face.  Right now she is resting with at least 4 puppies attached to her.  My poor baby!  I can't imagine having 7 kids all sucking on you at once! 
  6. We have added a new friend to our walks.  I love that she had gastric bypass about 3 years ago and can relate to the emotional part of the weight loss journey.  It helps to know I am not crazy and everything I am going through emotionally is normal.
  7. I have to break it to my soon to be 11 year old that she will need booster shots.  Dear God in Heaven........she is all drama.  It should be a really fun talk!!
  8. I have very little appetite.  I think it is due to my nervousness about getting to Onederland.  I guess whatever works to get me there!  I will take it!
  9. I think since it is a breezy 55 degrees I will make a pot of chili for dinner.  Turkey chili. Ssssshhhhhh!  Don't tell the hubs as he swears he can tell ground turkey from ground beef (really he can't!).
  10. If you get a chance, pop over to Laura's  blog and watch that video.  I am still giggling.  People are insane!
That is all...............Have a great Thursday!!!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Versatile Blogger Award

Versatile:  ver-sa-tile [vur-suh-tl] or, especially British, [vur-suh-tahyl]:  capable of, or adapted for, turning easily from one to another various tasks, fields of endeavor, etc.:  a versatile writer.
Word information source:  www.dictionary.com
Here is how the award works:
1.  You thank the person who presented you with the award.
2.  You tell 7 things about yourself.
3.  You award 15 other newly discovered bloggers.

Thank you so much Laura and Vicky for nominating me!!! If you are not already following these ladies on their blogs...........you are missing out! 

Ok. 7 things.

1. I'm the oldest of 4 children.  I guess being the oldest set me up for a lifetime of bossiness.  I have always needed to be in charge.

2.  I married my high school sweetheart.  How cliche right?  But it is true.  But we were on break in college.  Very Ross and Rachel, huh?

3. I used to be early to everything now I am always late.  I like to blame it on my 3 kids.

4. I grew up in the Pacific Northwest.  My junior year in high school I moved to Alabama.  Can you say culture shock?  The only good that came out of it was I met my husband. 

5.  I have 3 girls that were all born right here in Granbury, Texas.  They are true Texans with little twangy voices.

6.  I don't know if I want to admit this but.....................I was a cheerleader in high school.  I can really rock some spirit fingers.

7.  I am with Laura on this one...........I HATE to clean.  Seriously, like why didn't I marry into a rich family with servants.  Oh that is right, I married for love.  Dang!

OK. I'm only going to do 5 blogs because I've got to get working  Laura and Vicky did!  And I really have to go pick up the kids at school.  So here they are:
2. Amy

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

When Reactions Aren't What You'd Expected

Those of us that have lost or are in the process of losing a significant amount of weight have grown accustomed to the reactions we get.  The stares, the "OMG! You look so good!", the question, "What are you doing?"  These are reactions we have come to expect, so when we are faced with someone who shrugs off our success with little recognition.........well, it throws us for a loop.  What makes it worse is when it is someone we are very close to or love.  Sometimes, not saying much is saying a whole lot.  Silence is a word unto itself.

I have come across a lot of this lately.  I got HUGE kudos when I lost around 75 lbs., when I was losing but was still my fluffy self that people are accustomed to.  Now, I get a lot of silence.  I have even gotten ignored.  Ouch.

Why, when I am probably at the best place in my life, do you shun me?  Is it that I have a new found confidence?  That you can no longer push around the fat girl?

Is it because you really want to be successful at a diet?  You want to change your lifestyle?   Because if that is it, I am a great person to walk with, talk with, discuss your goals with, cry with and share your successes with. 

My personality has not changed.  Well, I have gained more confidence.  I think I am stronger now.  But, I am still funny.  I am still nice.  I am the same inside.

So, why does my outside appearance now change our relationship?

Do you feel I don't need you?  Because really, now is when I need you most.  This last part of my journey is going to be hard.  And the maintenance..........well, that is going to be a bitch. 

I need you now more than ever. 

I don't expect gushing congratulations.  I just expect support.  Acknowledgement that I am on the right track.  That you are proud to be my friend, my family, someone worth knowing.  Someone who matters in your life.  Is that too much to ask for?

**By the way, I am losing weight for ME, for my health.  So I can be around for my kids, grand kids and hopefully great grand kids.  I honestly don't need approval from anyone...........but it is nice.  It is nice to know you have people on your side.**

Monday, October 24, 2011

Horned Frogs, Carving Pumpkins and Puppies

This weekend was eventful to say the least.  I am going to do a recap by bullets, as I think that might be quicker.  

  • Saturday, the girls and I joined my family for a TCU game.  We stayed until half time because they pretty much stomped the opponent (score was 69 to 0).
  • I noticed walking steps is nothing now.  I used to be leery of stadium seating.  I guess when you are built like Humpty Dumpty you are afraid you might fall.  Stairs are no longer an issue.  Huge NSV.
  • I saw my sister and her husband for the first time since having the surgery and losing 112 pounds.
  • My crazy family decided to carve pumpkins.  My dad, who had watched some DIY special, decided to use a power drill to create polka dots in his pumpkin.  I think it was just an excuse to use the drill.
  • My dog gave birth last night to 7 little rat looking puppies.  I will post pictures later.  Right now, momma dog is sound asleep with her squealing brood.
  • We went to a hospital employee function last night.  Some people didn't even recognize me.  I love it when people look at me all confused and try to place me but just can't!  I guess I am becoming an attention whore.
I will leave you with tons of pictures from this weekend.  It never ceases to amaze me how I am a camera hog now.

My sister, the girls and me at the TCU game.

Me and my sister.

Me and my oldest daughter.

Go horned frogs!

My crazy dad and his power drill pumpkin.

Polka dot pumpkin.  I don't know why he thinks it is so funny.  My family is CrAzY!

The girls carving pumpkins.

The girls pumpkins.

Georgia's science experiment to see if pumpkin/toothpick boats will float.

My sister, Beth, giving me the judgey face.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Ten Things Thursday

Today is Thursday, which means Ten Things Thursday, the great tradition started by Laura at Beer, Dogs and Getting Healthier.  By the way, if you have not already become a follower of Laura's blog then you really should!  She is hilarious with a capital H.

1.  I have PMS or MS minus the P.  I had a really hard time motivating myself to get moving and walk this morning.  But I did.  I feel much better now!

2.  Vicky and Laura get to meet tonight for dinner.  I am so excited for them.  They are two of my favorite bloggers.  Have fun ladies!

3.  I have an appointment with my surgeon today at 1:00.  Just a check-in.  He actually told me during my last appointment that I could come every 3 months now.  But, that kind of freaks me out.  I like the one month accountability right now. It keeps me on track. 

4.  My oldest daughter has her 5th grade music program tonight.  And let me tell you, she is thrilled (not really!).  5th grade girls sure are moody little things.  I guess it is "dumb" to enjoy music class when you are 10.

5.  As the PTO President of the school, I had to go purchase the juice and cookies for the program.  My mouth was watering over the cookie selection at the store.  Never send a woman with TOM to the cookie section.  But, happily I resisted the urge to eat them, lick them or inhale them.

6.  I think my dog is about to give birth.  She has been following me around everywhere for the last 24 hrs.  The poor thing is huge.  I will post puppy pictures when they are born.  Weenie/Pug mix puppies will be a very interesting combo.

7.  I am tired.  Like really, really tired.  I am fighting the urge to crawl back in bed and take a nap.

8.  A special thanks to Lap Band Gal!, for the shout out yesterday.  She is a huge inspiration to those of us at the beginning of our journeys.

9.  My sister is coming to town this weekend.  It should be fun.  We are going to a TCU football game Saturday even though not a one of us went to TCU.  We are all die hard Auburn fans.  War Eagle, baby!

10.  My size 16's are fitting me very nicely.  Not too big and definitely not too small.  I just can't wait to get down to a size 14.  I have a huge arsenal of 14 jeans taunting me in my closet.  I have been throwing in extra workouts to help the process along.

Well, that is it for today.  Have a great day!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Sometimes, The Truth Stinks

I am not gonna sugar coat this.  Some people may not like what I am about to say.  But, it is the truth.  And as we all know, sometimes, the truth stinks.

In order to be successful with this tool we call a band you have to put in the work.  Really!  You have to eat right and *gasp* exercise.  That's right, you have to use self control.

I have seen a lot of belly aching on forums about how the band is not controlling peoples food intake.  How they aren't losing any weight.  That is should be easier.  If you signed up for easy then you had the wrong surgery.

My surgeon point blank said, "This is JUST a tool.  You will have to do the work.  It does not do the work for you."  Did I really believe him in the beginning?  No!  But, after the initial weight loss and a plateau I quickly realized that I would have to do some major work if I wanted the plateaus to stop.  Therefore, when a plateau happens (and they always do) I have to change things up.  Increase protein, decrease sugar and carbs, exercise a bit more, etc.

People, you have to work with this band!  Why is that so hard?  We did not get fat overnight and we are not going to get skinny overnight either.  It is going to take years of dedication on our part.

Sure, we all slip but you have to do the work 80% of the time (if not more).  No one promised us lollipops, gumdrops and rainbows.  No one told you this would be easy breezy.  So what made you think it would?

Is it hard work?  Hell yes!  Do you have to be dedicated?  Hell yes!  But, will you be able to say YOU did the work?  Yes!  That you are the one that worked the band? Yes. 

You do not have the right to complain about something you are not actively participating in. 

Nuff said.

Monday, October 17, 2011

6 Month Progress In Pictures

It is hard to believe that in 6 months my life has changed this much.  I have so much more energy, feel much healthier (all my blood work came back NORMAL!), my blood pressure is NORMAL and I just feel better about myself.  I am stronger and healthier than I think I have ever been in my adult life. 

My six month bandiversary was Oct. 5th.  So in honor of that day I have composed a little picture collage.  My proof of progress is evident in the pictures.  I think the pictures speak for themselves.

Oh, and shorts.................huge NSV!!!

Addicted to Exercise

Yesterday, it was quite apparent that my body is addicted to exercise.

Here is how my day went down...............

Up at the crack of dawn because the kids just had to eat.  I am not a morning person.  So, I became snappy mom.  Snappy mom had to have 3 cups of coffee in order to scramble eggs.

My husband was playing in a golf tournament.  That means we could have a lazy pajama day.  My butt stayed in my favorite chair and watched movies with the kids until late afternoon.  Then snappy mom made a come back and decided we needed to get productive and clean.

The belt on my brand new vacuum broke.  I alternated between being mad and being upset as I had to unscrew and take apart the vacuum to replace the belt.  My oldest child kept saying, "Mom it is just a vacuum.  Everything will be fine!"  There is nothing like the wisdom of a 10 year old to keep you grounded.

My husband returned from golfing about 5.  I was so excited there was another adult to talk to that I wouldn't shut up.  He on the other hand, wanted a nap.  Of course I took his lack of interest in the dress that I wanted to order online personally, and began to cry.  Then I got mad.  (HELLO CYBIL!)

He looked me square in the eye and said, "Have you walked today?"  To which I had to reply, "No".  "I think you really need to," he said.

So, I texted Lesley and away we went.

And you know what?

I felt so much better.

Crazy, huh?

My body craves that exercise.  I need it.  It levels out my moods (I have major PMS) and keeps me sane.
What a difference a year has made in my life.  A year ago, I would have reached for a cookie, now I reach for my tennis shoes. 

When I first started to exercise I despised it.  Now, I am in love with it. 

Let me say that again............I am in love with exercise.  Those were words I never thought I would say.  Sometimes, I surprise myself. 

Friday, October 14, 2011


It's FRIDAY so that means it's BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy! Brought to you by the one and only Drazil! We answer a couple of questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy and paste and answer in your own blogs if you'd like!! ENJOY!!
  1. What’s your most favorite noise and your least favorite noise?
    Most favorite - belly giggles from my children or the sound of silence (it is a tie)
  2. Least favorite - whiny noises!
  3. If you were a character in the movie Grease – who would you be?
    Unfortunately, I would probably be a Sandy.  Because I am a rule follower.  But I do have a bit of a sarcastic personality like Rizzo.  So maybe a combo.
  4. What was the name of your best friend in elementary school? Are you still friends?
    Shannon.  We rode my pink banana seat bike all over town!  We are FB friends.
  5. Who is your current celebrity crush?
    Josh Dumel.  He is just a major hottie. Or Harry Connick, Jr.  because who wouldn't love to hear his voice as you wake up in the morning?
  6. Repeat question. Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
    In real life, In blogland..............I am trying to catch up on my reading and commenting.    But, I will say my eating and diary keeping have been really good this week. In real life, CHAOS. Since I am a sucker, and the PTO president at my kids school, I have too much to do.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

10 Things Thursday

  • My dog is a slut.  That's right.........a slut!  She is preggers with puppies.  She is a pug and the baby daddy is a weenie dog.  That is mixed up!  I guess love is blind.  I wonder what they will look like.
  • Today is my long walk day.  6 miles.
  • I am a creature of habit.  Every morning I have Greek yogurt and a banana.  BORING! 
  • When I stepped on the scale this morning the number shocked me.  It was low.  But I am waiting to see if it "sticks" or is just a fluke before I log it.
  • My brother is moving back to the great state of Alabama next week.  That makes me sad.
  • Lesley (my walking buddy) has a dress that is a size 14 hanging in her closet that is taunting me.  I need that dress..................what weight were you when you got to a 14?
  • I have contemplated going back on liquids for a week just to fit in the dress.  But, I enjoy chewing so..........it is not going to happen!
  • I have a hole in my sock and it is annoying me but I am too lazy to get up and find a new pair of socks.
  • My husband is banded too.  But he eats crap and it annoys the hell out of me.  Probably because I want to eat crap but am too type A to go through with it.
  • In a month I am going to do a 5K with my daughter.  We are going to walk it though.  It is just for fun and just because I can.
That is it!  Have a great Thursday. 

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

How I Did It...........

Lately, I have had a lot of people asking me how in the world I have lost 106 lbs.  So here are my "secrets".  Which really aren't that secret or mind blowing!

1.  I had Lap-Band.  LAP-BAND not Gastric Bypass.  They are completely different.  Nothing has been re-routed or cut in me.  My insides are all accouted for.  If you do not know the difference and want to.......google Lap-Band vs. Gastric Bypass.
2.  I log all my food and drinks on http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ .  This has been one of the best decisions.  Even when I was not exercising, I knew exactly what I was putting in my mouth.  Everyday.  Everything.  That is my motto.
3.  I walk.  EVERY DAY.  No exceptions.  When I first started this journey I did not exercise.  It wasn't until I had lost about 50 lbs. that I felt I had the energy to exercise on dry land.  I began by swimming and pretty soon I wanted to up my game.  Really! 
4.  I drink at least 100 oz. of water a day.  I do not drink soda.  EVER.  This is because I was a Diet Coke junkie.  About 8 Diet Cokes a day.  For me it is like crack.  I don't even want a taste because I know that if I have it, I will only want more.  In the beginning I used Crystal Light or flavored water.  Now I drink it straight up.
5.  I watch my sodium.  Sometimes I watch it as I lick chips. But, I am always aware how much sodium I have.  Why?  Because I am salt sensitive.  Any salt intake will make me retain water.  And when I retain water the scale will not budge.  This is something I struggle with.  Because I LOVE chips.
6.  I have an open communication with my surgeon.  I tell him EVERYTHING.  Which probably annoys the hell out of him.  But, I figure my success is also his success.  I don't think he really wants someone who is not succeeding as a representation of his practice.
7.  I try to get adequate rest.  Try.........because by nature I  am a night owl.  But, I have noticed when I get more sleep I crave carbs less.
8.  I take a fist full of vitamins every morning.  Because if I were to go bald due to a vitamin deficiency........well, I don't want to discuss it.  I would cry myself to sleep while in the fetal position.
9.  Here is a biggie.  I do not eat fast food.  It is the devil.  It is what made me fat in the first place.  I am a control freak, so cooking and eating at home give me the control I crave.  Have I eaten out?  Sure, but I have not been to the golden arches since being banded and I do not intend to go back. Just the smell of grease makes my stomach turn now.
10.  When I am worried, upset or mad I strap on my tennis shoes and walk.  I, like most over-eaters, am an emotional eater.  I have really worked on breaking the cycle.  I want to be able to feel my emotions not eat them and shove them down.
11.  I do not have taboo foods.  If I want something I eat it in MODERATION.  I also eat it in front of people.  There are no secrets.
12.  I no longer have the "all or nothing" mentality.  Before, if I fell off the wagon, I would beat myself up about it.  I would tell myself I was worthless.  That I was a loser.  Not anymore.  One day or one week is only a blip in the calendar.  Everyday is an opportunity to start over fresh.

So there you have it.  Just a few things that have led me to a new healthier and happier self. 

Believe me, if I can do this anyone can.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

No More Salt!

Well, I have been battling the same 2 lbs. now for a few weeks.  Up to 214 then back down to 212 and back up again.................

I wish I could blame it on TOM, thyroid, anything really!  But I can't!

You see, I love me some tortilla chips.  And the last few weeks I have been licking the salt off the chips (literally!).  Salty and I do not get along as I am a retainer of water.  You can call me the human sponge. I have eaten chips with queso, salsa and plain.  Almost every day.  Is it a lot less than pre-band?
Yes!  But still, I know better.

I have been walking every day and  justify eating the crap because I exercise so much.  Which is WRONG!!! 

So, I am pledging to eat better this week.  More lean protein and no salty snacks.

Accountability sucks!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Coat $$$

By the way, the black trench coat at S*m's was only 39.98!!!!!  Thought y'all would want to know that! 

Internet Snafu

Is that how you spell snafu?  I don't even know if it is a real word.  But, a snafu is what I have been experiencing when trying to log onto the Internet.  2 whole days I have been without communication to the outside world.  I haven't been able to check blogs, log my food, e-mail or FB!  It seems they have been working on our communication tower here in the country.  And, seeing that we country folk aren't important........they have made it a 2 day project.  However, as of last night our Internet is working at mega fast speed.  I feel whole again.

Yesterday I traveled to the big city to do some PTO shopping.  While at the big warehouse store that starts with a S and is part of the Wally World corporation,  I found a trench coat.

It is the perfect weight for down here.  Not heavily insulated but lined and waterproof.  I bought a size XL to give myself a little room in the bust.  I am sure in a month it will be a little bigger and perfect when I need to wear a sweater under it.

I am still in complete shock that something out of the regular size department will fit.  Last year at this time, I would have been looking for a 3 or 4X in the plus size.

A whole new shopping world has opened up.  UH-OH!!!  Boy, is my hubby in trouble.  I don't know if I have revealed this before but I was a fashion merchandising major in college.  I used to eat, breathe and sleep fashion.  Now I can shop anywhere again.  My bank account may never be the same!

But, it sure is nice not to have to question whether I will fit into something.  Again, it is very surreal to me. 

I hope all of you out there in blog land have had a great few days!  I am really enjoying seeing all the pictures from BOOBS.  Hopefully, next year I will be able to go.

I will leave you with a picture of the purchased coat.  When I looked at the picture I smiled real big because my waist is reappearing!  DIVINE!!!

The yoga capris and bare feet really make this jacket pop!  HA!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Thank You Frances Lillian Foote

For years now I have been questioning if I was dropped off on my parents door step.  I just don't look like anyone from my family.

It is hard to see any resemblance when I was a 300 lb. woman.  Everyone in my family is beautiful.  Really.  It is sickening. 

So, being the heavy one made me feel like the black sheep.  I didn't fit in with the people that I have the most in common with.  That is a very lonely feeling.

I didn't grow up heavy.  Yes, I have a slower metabolism than my mom but, in my younger years you could see what gene pool I had come from.  I did not get heavy until after marriage.  Then more so after kids.  Then even more after a life altering illness. 

Yesterday, I had a PTO function to attend.  So, seeing as how I was already "prettied" up, I decided to snap a picture. 

The picture actually stunned me.  Not because I was dressed up.  Not because I had makeup or jewelry on.  It was because I recognized the woman in the picture.

It was my great-grandmother.

There is not a doubt in my mind that the genes I have received came from Frances Lillian Foote.  It is apparent in the photo.  I have her hair.  Her face shape.  Her smile.  I look just like her.

What I see in that picture is reassurance.  I see where I fit in.  Where I belong.

I see my present.  I see my grandmothers past.  And for once, I see the future.

Thank you grandma.  For the Cheetos I used to eat on your porch.  For the Ramen Noodles we loved to eat with you. For the music box that sits on my dresser.  For your giving heart.  For your genes.

I finally feel like I belong again.

Sometimes..............this is how I feel about walking.

Sometimes, this is how I feel about morning walks.  But, strangely enough after or during a walk I start to feel better.  Gotta love endorphins!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

But You Have Such a Pretty Face...

I was in inspired by Mary at Unil My Cup Runneth Over.  This post is amazing.  Please check it out! 

But You Have Such a Pretty Face... Until My Cup Runneth Over

We all know the cliche saying "You have such a pretty face!"  Especially when most people want to follow it with the unspoken "You have such a pretty face (if only......you would lose 25, 50...100 lbs.)"

I am here to say............I am more than just a pretty face!  These are the 10 things I like about myself (without referring to my weight). 

1.  I am very determined.
2.  I am no quitter.
3.  I am extremely loyal to friends and family.
4.  I have a wicked sense of humor.
5.  I really like my nose.
6.  I have good thick hair.
7.  I am caring and compassionate.
8.  I am a really good mom.
9.  I am creative.
10.  I am smart but still have common sense.

Please comment with the 10 things you like about yourself.  Feel free to re post onto your blog!

If You Are What You Eat Then..............

If you are what you eat then yesterday I was................

1. Slice of fat free orange cake with whipped frosting
2.  A serving of ruffled potato chips
3.  A mini Kit-Kat
4.  A square of dark chocolate bar
5.  Various lunch meats
6.  Slices of cheese atop of tortilla chips
7.  Lots and lots of coffee

Really, not a good day for eating right.  But, by logging all food at least I made sure not to go over my calorie goal.  PMS got the best of me.

I guess the moral of this little lesson is no one is perfect.  Today is a fresh start!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

100 lbs. Down Hair Color

I wanted to give myself something for my 100 lb. loss.  So.................I decided to dye my hair auburn.  New weight and new hair color.

I thought it would be different.  But, it is so close to my natural hair color that people really can't tell the difference.  It is just a little darker than it was.  The colors on the boxes are all sooooooooooooo confusing!!!!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Food Police

In the distance I hear a siren.

It is getting closer.

And closer.

Uh-oh, it the food police! 

Lately, I have noticed there are a lot of food police present in my life.  They watch me like hawks.  They are ready to swoop in and critique my every bite.

Why now?  After I have proven myself successful at losing.  Are they scared that I will go morbidly obese again?  Are they concerned for my health?

I think not.

In fact, I think these people are rather irritating.  Like a bad rash you just can't get rid of.

You see, I know EXACTLY what I put in my mouth EVERY DAY.  I am an obsessive logger of all things that have calories.  I can tell you the portion size and calorie count of most foods..........without looking them up.

I have become somewhat of a dietitian of sorts.

I know that a chocolate bar has about 200 calories.  That small bag of chips has approximately 140 calories.  The six popcorn chicken I just put in my mouth?  85 calories.

Before band, I didn't know.  I did not hold myself accountable.  I didn't track calories in vs. calories out.

But now, I truly believe in accountability.  What I put in my mouth I hold myself accountable for.

Can you say..................light bulb moment?!

I also believe that moderation is the key to success.  It will do me no good to tell myself no chocolate EVER.  Instead, when I want chocolate there is a fun size candy bar waiting in my fridge.  And after I eat it...........I LOG IT!!!  How crazy is that?!


That is what I have learned.

I am accountable for what I put in my body.  I am not accountable for what others put in their bodies.

Nor am I one to judge or police what others put in their mouths. 



So, next time you see a bandster, dieter,  whoever put something you do not approve of in their mouths, remember...............................you are not the food police.  Please be accountable for what you eat, not what others choose to consume.

War Wound

Today was the long exercise day.  That means 6 miles (we try to do six miles at least 3 times a week).  What baffles my mind is that I actually look forward to the long days.  It is kind of a Zen-like experience for me.  Very peaceful.

I just had to take a picture of my "war wound".  My huge blister from walking.  I am proud of it!  I guess I feel like an athlete.

It is such a change from my stationary pre-banded life.  I can not imagine being a couch potato now.  It seems like I always have to be moving or doing something.

Anyway, had to share my war wound with you!  Please ignore my disgustingly cracked heel!  :)

Have a great Thursday!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Good Ridance FB Friend

Some time ago I blogged about an acquaintance that in my opinion posted something on FB that was rude.  My blog post titled "Ignorance Is Not Bliss" (click on the title to get to the post) explains the whole situation.

Yesterday, the woman who posted her stats on her FB page contacted me and wanted to know why I had deleted her from my FB friends list.

I will be honest.  My first thought was to cover myself and lie.  Maybe say that it was an accident.  But then I thought of all of you.  Of all of us that are going through this weight loss journey.  How we have to stick together and stop fattie bashing.  And so, I told her the truth.

I very calmly told her that I did not appreciate her posting her "perfect" proportions or her rude comment on her FB page.  I told her it was hard enough going through this weight loss journey without having to read her commentary.  I told her I did not want or need any negativity right now. 

I must say it was kind of freeing.  She of course denied that she was "hating" on fat people.  But really it doesn't matter.  She is not someone that I really care about their opinion.

The truth is I don't want to be friends with anyone who thinks themselves better than anyone.  I am not that kind of person.

I have noticed that as my size has decreased that all of a sudden I am more noticeable.  More friend-worthy.  More approachable.

But the truth is I am the same person on the inside.  The outside package has changed but my character has not. 

But what this loss of weight has created is a backbone.  I no longer want people in my life that will get in the way of the journey I am taking.  I no longer want negativity.  I no longer accept shallowness or tolerate other peoples nonsense. 

Is this good?  I don't know.  I guess only time will tell.

I will tell you this................I am not afraid to hit the delete button on FB anymore.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Heavy Load

This weekend I had to go grocery shopping.  It is something I HATE to do.  I tend to pick up industrial sizes in most items so I do not have to return anytime soon. 

On my list to buy was dog food.  Let me explain something.  I have not 1 dog but 4.  Yes, 4!  Why?  Because I am certifiably CrAzY.  Each one of my kids begged and pleaded to have their own furry friend.  They swore they would take care of them.  But who feeds, waters and does the potty breaks?  That's right, ME! 

We have:  1 Schnauzer, 1 Lab, 1 Daschund, and 1 Pug.  Each girl had to have a certain kind of dog and then of course my hubby HAD to have a hunting dog (i.e. Lab).  So, 3 kids, 4 dogs, one gutter kitty (she is the stray country cat I feed) and one husband makes for one chaotic house.

But, back to my point.

At the grocery store I looked for the biggest bag of dog food.  Because heaven only knows how much dog food we go through in a week.

I found a 44 lb. bag.  The biggest the store had.  I proceeded to lift it into my buggy.  You know how heavy a 44 lb. bag of dog food is?  SUPER heavy.  It took me several tries to throw it in the bottom of the cart.

Then I got to thinking....................

I have lost 102 lbs.  That is the equivalent of  2 1/2 bags of dog food.  DANG!!!  I had trouble lifting a 44 lb. bag.  No wonder I was always so tired when I weighed 300+ lbs.

I can not imagine lugging that weight around anymore.  I feel lighter and have so much more energy.  I can walk 5 miles no problem.  I do not have to park close at the grocery store anymore.  I can go through the day without having to rest.  I just feel so much better.

102 lbs. is A LOT. 

It is a very heavy load to have carried. 

It is a load I DO NOT MISS.

I wonder how great I will feel after I lose the next 50 pounds.

I can not wait to find out!

Saturday, September 17, 2011


Thank you to 3 different people who nominated me for the Leibster Award.  Robyn, Lisa and Vicky.  I am humbled by your nominations. 

Liebster means ‘beloved’ or 'favorite' in German and it’s an honor to receive this award. The Liebster Blog Award is designed to bring additional recognition to those bloggers with less than 200 followers. If you receive the award, you should link back to the blogger that nominated you and nominate five more blogs. Also, don’t forget to let them know that you nominated them.

1.  Dede at Saucy Little Stitch.  She is beautiful inside and out!  Check out her idea for an inspiration board.

2.  Kelly at Finding My Way.  She has lost an amazing 83 lbs!  How inspirational!

3.  Elizabeth at Inside V. Outside.  She is an amazing mom and blogger. 

4.  Amy at Finding Me.  Amy is my blogger friend and also my friend on myfitnesspal.  She always has the most encouraging words for me!

5.  Ronnie at Ronnie's Bandumentary.  Ronnie is a great friend and one day I will get to meet her in person.  It will be like meeting a movie star!  She always, always says the nicest things to encourage me (or make me laugh!).

If you aren't following these ladies PLEASE start.  I know how much I love reading comments on my own blog!  Every one's support means the world to me!

Thanks for the nomination ladies!

Friday, September 16, 2011

How Do I Comment?

Will someone help me.........please, oh please!

I can't comment on blogs unless it has name and URL.

Why can't I go through my Google account?

So frustrating!


Thank You

I just want to say thank you to everyone who reads and comments.  I do not have a support group in my town and everyone here has become my band support.

A special thanks to:

Cece, Robyn, Ronnie, Vicky, Amy, and Lisa

Without these ladies continual comments I do not think I would have been as successful as I have been.  Please check out their blogs if you have not already (you can access their blogs by clicking on their name).

I just love how all us bandsters are so supportive of eachother.  You really have become like a 2nd family to me!  I always look forward to all your comments.

Thank you to my walking buddy, Lesley.  Her birthday was yesterday and you know what she wanted to do?  Walk 6.5 miles!  She always inspires me to push myself just a little bit further.  There is NO WAY I would have gotten to a 101 lbs. lost so quickly without her.  What the heck am I going to do when she moves to Arkansas?!  Does anyone volunteer to walk daily with me?

Also, thank you to all my FB friends who comment on my links.  In the beginning I did not want to post any of my blog to FB because I was so embarrassed that I had gotten so heavy.  What I realize now is we all struggle with something........mine just happens to be food!  Thank you for inspiring me to be my best self.

Lots of hugs and kisses to everyone.  THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart!  My journey is not over by a long shot but I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

100 Pounds Down!!!

This morning as I stepped on the scale, confetti and balloons fell from my ceiling.  Not really, but it would have been nice. 

217.1..............I began this journey at 318.  101 lbs. lost and not to EVER be found again.

I really can not believe it.  It is almost surreal.  I have stepped on the scale at least 10 times today to make sure it is correct.

I can't believe how emotional I am getting over this.  I am crying as I type. 

Honestly, I thought when I got down this size I would be content with where I am.  225 and I have spend YEARS together.  It is the number that I weighed after each pregnancy.  A size 16W or 18 in regular size.

But, now 217.............I am just passing through this number.  I am off to smaller and better things.

Next stop, Onderland.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Tales Of The Too Tight T-shirt

Six years ago, on Mother's Day, my kids made me a hand print t-shirt.  They each painted their little hands and decorated a shirt for me.  They thought they had given me the best thing ever.  There was only one problem..........

The t-shirt was a size large.  There was no way I could fit into it.  At the time I was a solid 3X.

I remember the look on their little faces.  They were so disappointed.  I remember how mortified and embarrassed I was.

Fast forward to the present.

Yesterday, I was digging around in my drawers eliminating clothes that are too big.  I pulled out the t-shirt.  It has never been worn.  It has been collecting dust in the bottom of my lingerie drawer.

I looked at the shirt.  I thought.......there is no way a large will fit yet.  But, I tried it on anyway.

Guess what?

It fit.  Perfectly.  It even has a bit of room in the shoulders and arms.

I was so excited.  I went to show the girls.

My middle daughter began to cry.  I asked her what was the matter.  She said that she could remember me not fitting into it.  That she was sad for me.  That I am not the same mom.  That she is proud.

She made me cry too.

Not because I was sad anymore. 

I finally feel like myself. 

I have found the mom I was meant to be. 

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Unsolicited Diet Advice

Do you get unsolicited diet advice?  This past week it seems that I have received more diet advice than I ever have.

I have been told to:

1.  Eat only whole foods
2.  Try Herb*life
3.  No sugar
4.  No carbs
5.  More protein (this one makes it quite apparent that people do not know how us bandsters eat)
6.  Try a pre-packaged meal plan
7.  Join Weight* Watchers

And the list goes on.................

What makes it okay to approach me now?  Do they think maybe somehow I have lost 97 lbs. by some accident?

I have used this new found concern with my weight loss to educate people about being banded.  I am sure they love to hear me talk about the band but, fair is fair.  You want me to listen to your diet advice.....well, listen how I am going to keep my weight off.

You see, this is NOT a diet.  I look at this as a complete lifestyle change.  I know now what a correct portion size is.  I know I have to eat at least 80 grams of protein and drink about 100 oz. of water a day.  I know I have to keep my carbs to around 50 grams, my sodium to no more than 2,500 mg, my sugar below 30 g (that one I still struggle with!). 

The point is:  for the first time in my life I am knowledgeable about what goes into my body.  I track everything that enters my mouth.

I exercise no fewer than 5 days a week.  Most days between 1-1 1/2 hours.  I am extremely active now.

I know now what is takes.  I have goals.  I hold myself accountable.

If I choose to eat a cookie and the scale does not budge then I know it was my doing.  I also know that just one day is not going to affect how I eat MOST days. 

Now instead of "bad" foods and "good" foods,  I consider foods "sometimes" and "always". 

This band has changed my whole perspective about food.

This band is going to get me to my goal (that and my willpower).

This band is going to help me maintain when I get to goal.

This band is going to make me succeed.

Isn't it funny that a tiny piece of plastic has changed my whole way of thinking?

So, bring on the diet advice.  Just don't be surprised when you have to hear how about how Lap-band is my "diet" of choice.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

How Do You Treat Others?

I have finally noticed a BIG difference in the way people treat me.

I get my door held open for me.  People make eye contact.  Strangers approach me.  I am not ignored.

Funny isn't it that when we were really large we were ignored?  When we needed the most compassion we got none.

I will say that I am sure I treat the world a lot differently than I did 97 lbs. ago.  I am sure I make eye contact more, that I smile more and that I actually start conversations now.  I hold my head a little higher, fix my hair, wear makeup again.........I just feel better physically and mentally.

I think  that what we put out there in the world we get back.  Kind of a Kharma thing.  If I put out negativaty, how can I expect to get positivity back?

But, it has become blatentley obvious that men especially are treating me different.

Yesterday, I had to take my flat tire in for repair.  The salesperson not only opened the truck to get out the tire, he hauled it in for me.  He asked me my name.  He held the door for me.  Would this have happened when I was 300 lbs.?  Probably not.

The world is kind of funny.  We are a fickle beauty chasing species.  Is that fair?  No.  But it is.

I really don't know what to make of this newfound treatment.  Part of me is sad that we put so much stock in beauty and being thin that we do not see true inside beauty.  Part of me is offended (yes, the 300 lb. girl wants to punch someone).  And part of me feels like I have worked hard so I should just accept it.

I will tell you this, I will NOT ignore people.  Thin, large, short, tall..........everyone has something to offer. 

And, that is what makes me glad I am going through this journey.