Today I went to my surgeon for my 3rd fill. I boggles my mind that I actually look forward to going to the doctor. For so long I have avoided physicians because of weight issues.
Well, after stepping on the scale and charting my weight the nurse (Tammie, who is the best!) told me my BMI is now 38.5.
People, I am no longer in the "Morbidly Obese" category. Hallelujah. I almost did a happy dance in the doctor's office.
Sure, I have a long way to go but, I am no longer Morbidly (there is something awful about that title) Obese. I am just plain old Severly Obese. Which sounds so much better, don't ya think?
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Weird Rashes
Here comes a topic that I am sure not many have been comfortable talking about..............
I have a weird rash.
Since I have lost weight my excess belly skin is a little saggy (okay, really really saggy but hey, before you judge I have had 3 C-sections). I have absolutely no muscle tone in my stomach region. No sit ups or trainer will be able to fix this.
It is the direct consequence of giving birth 3 times via C-section. Yes, I blame the kids. In fact, one day I plan on lifting my shirt and saying, "See this is what child birth does to your body".
Some may think this is mean but, I plan on using it to scare my 3 girls into celebacy. Call it birth control if you like.
Sooooo.............
Under my tummy skin there lurks a pink icky itchy rash.
You better believe I am showing my surgeon on Wednesday when I go for my fill. In fact, I am going to make him document it. Which leads me to the question............
Does anyone know if Blue Cross Blue Shield of Tennessee will pay for removal of excess skin (i.e. a tummy tuck) ? :)
Hey, its worth a shot......don't laugh!
I have a weird rash.
Since I have lost weight my excess belly skin is a little saggy (okay, really really saggy but hey, before you judge I have had 3 C-sections). I have absolutely no muscle tone in my stomach region. No sit ups or trainer will be able to fix this.
It is the direct consequence of giving birth 3 times via C-section. Yes, I blame the kids. In fact, one day I plan on lifting my shirt and saying, "See this is what child birth does to your body".
Some may think this is mean but, I plan on using it to scare my 3 girls into celebacy. Call it birth control if you like.
Sooooo.............
Under my tummy skin there lurks a pink icky itchy rash.
You better believe I am showing my surgeon on Wednesday when I go for my fill. In fact, I am going to make him document it. Which leads me to the question............
Does anyone know if Blue Cross Blue Shield of Tennessee will pay for removal of excess skin (i.e. a tummy tuck) ? :)
Hey, its worth a shot......don't laugh!
Monday, June 27, 2011
My goal is MINE...not yours.
This past weekend at a birthday party an acquaintance and I were discussing my weight loss. I was completely honest about my band and my goal.
After telling her I had already lost 70 lbs., I preceded to tell her that I would like to loose around 100 more. I want to be in the "normal" weight BMI. Not the overweight, not the obese, just normal. Her reply shocked me.
She said that was too much. I would be skin and bones. You will look ugly, were her exact words. Really? Honestly, I weight 248 right now...so 100 more lbs. puts me at 148. I hardly think I will be skin and bones.
But, the whole conversation had me thinking. Was she saying this because she really cared or because she was trying to be nice? Or, was it that she herself was telling me she wanted to loose another 20 lbs.
My goal is just that....MY goal. Not yours, not hers, not his....just mine. I have to live with my body every day. I want to be able to walk into the doctors office and not be lumped into the overweight category.
It will be nice to be able to worry about other things..... NOT my weight.
So, I have decided that when someone tells me that they have X amount of weight to loose, I will not make any comments. I will just nod and say......You CAN do it. Because......
For once in my life I feel I can conquer my weight.....for myself. My goal is my own. Lap-band is the first selfish thing I have done for myself in a long time...............and it feels good!
After telling her I had already lost 70 lbs., I preceded to tell her that I would like to loose around 100 more. I want to be in the "normal" weight BMI. Not the overweight, not the obese, just normal. Her reply shocked me.
She said that was too much. I would be skin and bones. You will look ugly, were her exact words. Really? Honestly, I weight 248 right now...so 100 more lbs. puts me at 148. I hardly think I will be skin and bones.
But, the whole conversation had me thinking. Was she saying this because she really cared or because she was trying to be nice? Or, was it that she herself was telling me she wanted to loose another 20 lbs.
My goal is just that....MY goal. Not yours, not hers, not his....just mine. I have to live with my body every day. I want to be able to walk into the doctors office and not be lumped into the overweight category.
It will be nice to be able to worry about other things..... NOT my weight.
So, I have decided that when someone tells me that they have X amount of weight to loose, I will not make any comments. I will just nod and say......You CAN do it. Because......
For once in my life I feel I can conquer my weight.....for myself. My goal is my own. Lap-band is the first selfish thing I have done for myself in a long time...............and it feels good!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Small Victories
4 small victories this weekend:
1. I looked down and my legs were crossed! (while in a sitting position)....it's a miracle!
2. Went to the movies and wasn't worried that I wasn't going to fit in a seat. Cha-ching!
3. Went to the movies and didn't worry that I was the fatest person there. Whoop-whoop!
4. Took the kids out to eat and easily fit in a booth with lots of room to spare! Hooray!
Small victories.... but victories indeed!
1. I looked down and my legs were crossed! (while in a sitting position)....it's a miracle!
2. Went to the movies and wasn't worried that I wasn't going to fit in a seat. Cha-ching!
3. Went to the movies and didn't worry that I was the fatest person there. Whoop-whoop!
4. Took the kids out to eat and easily fit in a booth with lots of room to spare! Hooray!
Small victories.... but victories indeed!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Rice, Rice Baby
Do you ever get cocky with your band? Last night, I thought that I was in control.... not the band. And then it happened......a 45 minute excruciatingly painful stuck attack.
Many nights I eat egg drop soup for dinner. It has become somewhat of a staple around our house. So, last night when placing a take-out order my hubby talked me into some fried rice. I knew it may not be a good idea but......I ate it anyway. Here is how it all went down (cue CSI music).....
After the third bite I knew it wasn't going down. I set the fork aside and started walking around. Then came the sweats, not being able to breathe and the shooting pain in my chest. A familiar feeling came over me....the thick saliva, the funny feeling in my jaw. I ran to the bathroom just in time to...................
Slime, slime and more slime...for about 15 minutes.
My husband kept walking in and out of the bathroom. He was apologizing and rubbing my back. To put it mildly, I was not in a very nice mood. My head spun around like Linda Blair and I screamed, "GET OUT!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He quickly backed out of the room.
Then came the first round of throwing up. But, it dislodged nothing.
I walked to the kitchen to make myself a hot beverage. I didn't make it far though and ended up throwing up in the kitchen sink. Still......STUCK!!! Now I was getting pissed off.
After listening to the vomiting, my kids quickly barricaded themselves into their rooms as I ran down the hall to the bathroom again.
Slime, slime......vomit!!!
Nothing...still stuck. DAMN IT!!! This rice was going nowhere.
My husband wandered back into the bathroom. This time he was humming the tune "Ice, Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice. But then he started to sing......
"Rice, rice baby....to stuck, to stuck...Gotta hate that rice, rice baby..."
I looked at him through watery mascara encrusted eyes, stuck my finger down my throat and.............
Vomited one last time.
"That's what I think of your stupid song", I said.
"Whatever works", he replied.
And damn it, he was right. The rice dislodged leaving me free at last.
Needless to say, I think next time we order we will skip the rice!
Many nights I eat egg drop soup for dinner. It has become somewhat of a staple around our house. So, last night when placing a take-out order my hubby talked me into some fried rice. I knew it may not be a good idea but......I ate it anyway. Here is how it all went down (cue CSI music).....
After the third bite I knew it wasn't going down. I set the fork aside and started walking around. Then came the sweats, not being able to breathe and the shooting pain in my chest. A familiar feeling came over me....the thick saliva, the funny feeling in my jaw. I ran to the bathroom just in time to...................
Slime, slime and more slime...for about 15 minutes.
My husband kept walking in and out of the bathroom. He was apologizing and rubbing my back. To put it mildly, I was not in a very nice mood. My head spun around like Linda Blair and I screamed, "GET OUT!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He quickly backed out of the room.
Then came the first round of throwing up. But, it dislodged nothing.
I walked to the kitchen to make myself a hot beverage. I didn't make it far though and ended up throwing up in the kitchen sink. Still......STUCK!!! Now I was getting pissed off.
After listening to the vomiting, my kids quickly barricaded themselves into their rooms as I ran down the hall to the bathroom again.
Slime, slime......vomit!!!
Nothing...still stuck. DAMN IT!!! This rice was going nowhere.
My husband wandered back into the bathroom. This time he was humming the tune "Ice, Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice. But then he started to sing......
"Rice, rice baby....to stuck, to stuck...Gotta hate that rice, rice baby..."
I looked at him through watery mascara encrusted eyes, stuck my finger down my throat and.............
Vomited one last time.
"That's what I think of your stupid song", I said.
"Whatever works", he replied.
And damn it, he was right. The rice dislodged leaving me free at last.
Needless to say, I think next time we order we will skip the rice!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The Potty Dilhema
Let me preface this by saying....if you don't want to learn about my business (that is bathroom business) you might want to stop reading now.
Before band I had a tendacy to be a little on the constipated side. What made me think after band would be so different?
2 days ago my belly was poking out like a small child in a third world country. I flopped down on the couch moaning and holding my stomach (yes, I am a bit of a drama queen). My husband didn't even look up from the paper. So.....I moaned louder, Louder, LOUDER...until....
"What the hell is wrong with you?", he asked (but he really wasn't interested). "I need to go to the bathroom. I am stopped up", I complained. All he said was, "huh".
So.......I took two laxitives.....and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
I read the back of the box. It said it should work within 6-12 hours. WTH? I thought I got a bad box. So......
I took 3 more..........
BIG MISTAKE!!!!!
I spent the next 8 hours on and off the toilet. To which my husband replied, "I guess you aren't having any problems now...Einstein". GRRRRRR!
Today, I went and bought fiber gummies and Miralax.
So...my new morning routine....
Fiber gummies, Miralax and 20 oz. of water. I feel like an 80 year old.
Before band I had a tendacy to be a little on the constipated side. What made me think after band would be so different?
2 days ago my belly was poking out like a small child in a third world country. I flopped down on the couch moaning and holding my stomach (yes, I am a bit of a drama queen). My husband didn't even look up from the paper. So.....I moaned louder, Louder, LOUDER...until....
"What the hell is wrong with you?", he asked (but he really wasn't interested). "I need to go to the bathroom. I am stopped up", I complained. All he said was, "huh".
So.......I took two laxitives.....and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
I read the back of the box. It said it should work within 6-12 hours. WTH? I thought I got a bad box. So......
I took 3 more..........
BIG MISTAKE!!!!!
I spent the next 8 hours on and off the toilet. To which my husband replied, "I guess you aren't having any problems now...Einstein". GRRRRRR!
Today, I went and bought fiber gummies and Miralax.
So...my new morning routine....
Fiber gummies, Miralax and 20 oz. of water. I feel like an 80 year old.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Who knew...(or things I never knew before being banded)
Who knew......
I could go on vacation, eat fried shrimp at the beach (in moderation) and still loose 2 lbs.
I would feel full after eating about 1/4 of the portion put before me in a restaurant.
I would turn away dessert because I really, REALLY was full.
I would walk away from junk food because I am just not hungry.
I would make a better choice than fries at a restaurant because really after the protein I would be full.
I would EVER turn away a basket full of bread and butter.
I would have power over food instead of food having power over me.
I love this band!
I could go on vacation, eat fried shrimp at the beach (in moderation) and still loose 2 lbs.
I would feel full after eating about 1/4 of the portion put before me in a restaurant.
I would turn away dessert because I really, REALLY was full.
I would walk away from junk food because I am just not hungry.
I would make a better choice than fries at a restaurant because really after the protein I would be full.
I would EVER turn away a basket full of bread and butter.
I would have power over food instead of food having power over me.
I love this band!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Pictures. & Distorted Reality
Yesterday, my mom showed me some pictures on her camera of me before my surgery. I think she wanted to show me how much progress I have made. The problem is, I still see myself as that 300+ pound person. Honestly, when I look at the pictures I do not see much difference between where I was then and where I am now.
I have read about having all the "head" issues that come with weight loss. How we determine our self worth by the scale. I wonder why we can not see ourselves as others see us. Do we just think the worst of ourselves? Is there some kind of therapy voo-doo that will cure my distorted self image? Can I run to Home Depot and buy a better mirror or magic reality inducing light bulbs?
Yes, I feel better. Yes, I am wearing smaller clothes. Yes, the scale is going down. But, why is my mirror not showing me reality or why am I not seeing it?
I am hoping with the next 10 lbs. I loose my mirror will magically un-fog and I will see myself as I truly am. No, I am not perfect. No, I will probably never be a size 8. But, darn it I am working hard each day to create a new me!
I have read about having all the "head" issues that come with weight loss. How we determine our self worth by the scale. I wonder why we can not see ourselves as others see us. Do we just think the worst of ourselves? Is there some kind of therapy voo-doo that will cure my distorted self image? Can I run to Home Depot and buy a better mirror or magic reality inducing light bulbs?
Yes, I feel better. Yes, I am wearing smaller clothes. Yes, the scale is going down. But, why is my mirror not showing me reality or why am I not seeing it?
I am hoping with the next 10 lbs. I loose my mirror will magically un-fog and I will see myself as I truly am. No, I am not perfect. No, I will probably never be a size 8. But, darn it I am working hard each day to create a new me!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Sample, Samples and More Samples!!!
Here are a few websites that have band friendly starter and sample kits.
Syntrax Nectar - 13 ct sample pack direct from the company is now $13.00 no shipping. Just call them at 866-333-7403 . There is an option on the phone tree for bariatric. http://www.si03.com/
BJ Bariatrics - Nectar sample pack $12.92+$5.00 shipping http://www.bjsbariatrics.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&St ore_Code=bjb&Product_Code=synSamplePack&Category_Code=syn
Kaffree Roma - For those needing to get off coffee for a while or forever. Caffeine free and taste awesome. There product locater helps a lot most Martins carry it in the organic section.http://www.morningstarfarms.com/product_detail.aspx?family=3 698&id=302
Designer Whey - Email them why you want samples and they send them. http://www.designerwhey.com/
Set Point Health - Email them why you want samples and they will send you a list of what is available and send them.https://setpointheal...h/main/main.asp#
4Ever Fit - Email them that you would like to try the Fruit Blast Natural (truvia), the Fruit Blast the Isolate, and 4ever Whey Protein and why and they will send samples. http://4everfit.com/
Champion Nutrition - Email them that you would like to try the Champion Pure Whey and why and they will send samples. http://www.championnutrition.com/
Ultimate Nutrition - Email or call that you would like to try the Prostar Whey and they will send samples. http://ultimatenutrition.com/
Permalean - Email that you would like to try the shakes and bars and they will send you some. I like these. http://www.permalean.com/
Quest Protein - Fill out the form but they will take awhile to mail them to you. http://www.questprot.../free/index.asp
Premier Nutrition - A great protein bar. Email them and tell them you want to try the Titan, Twisted and Premier Bar. They will also send shake samples. http://www.premiernutrition.com/
Focus 28 - Email that you would like to try their products and they will send you many. https://store.focus28diet.com
Syntrax Nectar - 13 ct sample pack direct from the company is now $13.00 no shipping. Just call them at 866-333-7403 . There is an option on the phone tree for bariatric. http://www.si03.com/
BJ Bariatrics - Nectar sample pack $12.92+$5.00 shipping http://www.bjsbariatrics.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&St ore_Code=bjb&Product_Code=synSamplePack&Category_Code=syn
Kaffree Roma - For those needing to get off coffee for a while or forever. Caffeine free and taste awesome. There product locater helps a lot most Martins carry it in the organic section.http://www.morningstarfarms.com/product_detail.aspx?family=3 698&id=302
Designer Whey - Email them why you want samples and they send them. http://www.designerwhey.com/
Set Point Health - Email them why you want samples and they will send you a list of what is available and send them.https://setpointheal...h/main/main.asp#
4Ever Fit - Email them that you would like to try the Fruit Blast Natural (truvia), the Fruit Blast the Isolate, and 4ever Whey Protein and why and they will send samples. http://4everfit.com/
Champion Nutrition - Email them that you would like to try the Champion Pure Whey and why and they will send samples. http://www.championnutrition.com/
Ultimate Nutrition - Email or call that you would like to try the Prostar Whey and they will send samples. http://ultimatenutrition.com/
Permalean - Email that you would like to try the shakes and bars and they will send you some. I like these. http://www.permalean.com/
Quest Protein - Fill out the form but they will take awhile to mail them to you. http://www.questprot.../free/index.asp
Premier Nutrition - A great protein bar. Email them and tell them you want to try the Titan, Twisted and Premier Bar. They will also send shake samples. http://www.premiernutrition.com/
Focus 28 - Email that you would like to try their products and they will send you many. https://store.focus28diet.com
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Second Fill
Yesterday, I went for my second fill. Upon getting on that lovely paper coated table I asked the nurse for a numbing shot. If you have read my previous posts you know that the last fill was EXTREMELY uncomfortable....and that is an understatement.
The nurse asked me if I was sure and said the shot would burn a bit. I reminded her that the last time they had trouble finding the port and had to dig the needle into my abdomen thus creating a huge bruise that lasted a week. I told her either numb it or find me a pill for anxiety...her choice. She then numbed my tummy.
The fill was uneventful, I didn't feel it! I will definitely get numbed every time. My surgeon only put in .5CC's. I now have 4.7CC's in a 10CC band.
Honestly, I can not tell the difference. I had no trouble with anything yesterday but was on only liquids. I guess today will be the real test.
But, I had lost an additional 10 lbs. since my last doctor visit 4 weeks ago. Not to shabby! And that was cutting portions but still allowing myself to eat some "non-diet" foods.
Hopefully in 4 more weeks I will be down another 10 lbs. I am loving this band!
The nurse asked me if I was sure and said the shot would burn a bit. I reminded her that the last time they had trouble finding the port and had to dig the needle into my abdomen thus creating a huge bruise that lasted a week. I told her either numb it or find me a pill for anxiety...her choice. She then numbed my tummy.
The fill was uneventful, I didn't feel it! I will definitely get numbed every time. My surgeon only put in .5CC's. I now have 4.7CC's in a 10CC band.
Honestly, I can not tell the difference. I had no trouble with anything yesterday but was on only liquids. I guess today will be the real test.
But, I had lost an additional 10 lbs. since my last doctor visit 4 weeks ago. Not to shabby! And that was cutting portions but still allowing myself to eat some "non-diet" foods.
Hopefully in 4 more weeks I will be down another 10 lbs. I am loving this band!
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