Yesterday, my mom showed me some pictures on her camera of me before my surgery. I think she wanted to show me how much progress I have made. The problem is, I still see myself as that 300+ pound person. Honestly, when I look at the pictures I do not see much difference between where I was then and where I am now.
I have read about having all the "head" issues that come with weight loss. How we determine our self worth by the scale. I wonder why we can not see ourselves as others see us. Do we just think the worst of ourselves? Is there some kind of therapy voo-doo that will cure my distorted self image? Can I run to Home Depot and buy a better mirror or magic reality inducing light bulbs?
Yes, I feel better. Yes, I am wearing smaller clothes. Yes, the scale is going down. But, why is my mirror not showing me reality or why am I not seeing it?
I am hoping with the next 10 lbs. I loose my mirror will magically un-fog and I will see myself as I truly am. No, I am not perfect. No, I will probably never be a size 8. But, darn it I am working hard each day to create a new me!
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