Chili Cheese Nacho Penance

I need to do penance for eating chili cheese nachos.....so, I am off to the gym.  I wonder how long it takes to burn them all off?

Chili Cheese Nachos

NO ONE with a band should be able to eat chili cheese nachos.  Even if it is a whole lot less then pre-band.....I'm just sayin' (Burp! But they sure were good)

55 lbs. Before and After

I really didn't want to post these but have been talked into it.....

Before:

Can you guess which one is me?!  I look so sad!  I am probably miserably hot.

Here is now.....55 lbs. lost:

I can't tell a big difference when I look at the pictures.  Yes, my clothes are definitely a lot bigger...I have went down at least 1 size.  I think I still view myself as the before pic....weight loss is definitely a lot of psychological mumbo-jumbo!

Damn You Sugar Free Cool Whip!

I have found something new that I love....sugar free Cool Whip!

If you put it on top of sugar free Jello or sugar free pudding...yummmmmmmmy!

If you put it on top of a chocolate protein shake...yummmmmmmmy!

It is just, well, yummy!

But, like all good things (or bad for you things!) those of us with compulsively bad eating habits should probably be leary.  I know the tub says 20 calories PER SERVING...but, do I eat one serving?  I am blogging this and shaking my head because I don't think I use just one serving.  So an extra 60 (and that is being conservative!) calories on top of my 60 calorie pudding is a 120 calorie snack. GRRRRRR..........

So, next time I go the grocery store my cart will not be making a turn for the freezer section.

Damn you Sugar Free Cool Whip for tasting so good!

Breaking Up With Bread

I have to break up with bread.  It seems that every time I try to take even a small bite...it gets stuck.  So, here is the letter I have written to my former lover.

Dear Bread,

I really love you.  However, it has come to my attention that you no longer have my best interests at heart.  Let me put it to you straight...my band doesn't like you.  It makes me sad but I know it is for the best.

Over the years I have loved you toasted, buttered and with jam.  I have loved you french toasted, waffled, pancaked, baked and even fried.  It pains me (really, it does) to have to let you go.  I will miss you at breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. 

Goodbye crackers.  Goodbye toast.  Sniff...sniff...

You will truly be missed (by me but NOT my waistline or butt).

Sincerely,
Brenda Myers (recovering carb-addict)



How does the Lap-Band cause restriction of the stomach?

This may help you in understanding the restrictive mechanism of a Lap-Band.

The ALLERGAN protocol for Lap-Band fills calls for a six-week delay after surgery, prior to any fills. The purpose for the six-week delay is for the patient’s stomach to heal from the surgery, as well as allowing time for the Lap-Band to “Seat” or “Nestle” into the fat pad between the stomach wall and the interior wall of the Lap-Band.

Prior to receiving an EFFECTIVE fill, it is VERY uncommon to have any restriction from a Lap-Band. Some patients will NOT lose weight, or may even GAIN weight until they have received an effective fill in their Lap-Band.

Normal weight loss with a properly restricted Lap-Band is between 1 and 2 pounds per week.

The normal cycle of fills, restriction and weight loss is as follows:

1. The patient's Lap-Band constricts when the patient receives a fill. Swelling for a few days after receiving a fill is very common. Many doctors require a patient to go on a liquid diet for a day or two after receiving a fill. A fill may have a “Delayed Action” of up to 4 weeks. A “Delayed-Action” means that the fill may not become effective for up to 4 weeks after the fill. That is why the ALLERGAN protocol states that fills should not be performed on patients who will not have access to medical care for at least two weeks after a fill.

2. The patient's stomach capacity is lessened as a result of the restriction caused by the Lap-Band.

3. The patient loses weight because they cannot eat as much food.

4. The residual fat-pad between the inside of the Lap-Band and the outside of the patient's stomach reduces in size because of the overall weight loss in the patient.

5. The reduction of the residual fat-pad causes the Lap-Band to become loose again.

6. At that point, the patient needs another fill, because the Lap-Band is loose, and the patient has a loss of restriction, which allows the patient to eat larger amounts of food.

7. The patient receives another fill and the process starts all over again.

Most Lap-Band patients receive several fills to adjust the Lap-Band as their weight loss progresses, and there is less and less residual fat-pad between the inside of the Lap-Band and the exterior of the stomach wall. Once a patient has lost all of their residual fat-pad, fills become less common. As the Lap-Band patient progresses in their weight loss, the effect of very tiny fills (Less than .2ccs) becomes greater and greater.

It is not uncommon for a late-stage Lap-Band patient to experience a significant difference in restriction with as little as .05cc of fill.

The Pant Dilhema

Well, a couple of days ago while walking to my bathroom my pants fell down.  Literally.  They fell into a puddle at my feet.  After my husband quit laughing like a hyena, he told me to buy some new pants.

Let me begin with saying what every larger size woman will tell you....I hate to shop for clothes.  I really hate to try things on in the dressing room.  Over the years, after diet failures there is nothing more humiliating then squeezing into pants.  Needless to say pant shopping brought beads of sweat to my forehead.

So, on Mother's Day my husband decided to take me to Kohl's to pick out pants.  After scouring the department for an hour I settled on 2 pair to try on.  I tried on a pair one size below where I am now.  They fit but where a little baggy.  I hung them back up knowing that in a few weeks they would no longer work. 

The next pair was 2 sizes down.  I got them zipped.  But they were still a little snug.  Like so many shopping trips in the past, I began to feel pretty BLAH about myself (then I reminded myself that I just lost 50 lbs.).  So, I hung the pants back up, held my head high and walked out of the store.

I have decided to rely on my all time favorite pant....the workout pant (i.e., elastic waist). After all, elastic is a girls best friend! (At least the best friend of a girl who is loosing weight!)

The First Fill....(Cue Scary Music!)

I had my first fill today.  I really didn't know what to expect.  Some people say it hurts while others say it is not painful.  What you are about to read is my experience.  READER BEWARE!!! haha

My doctor does all fills in the ultra sound room.  The nurse had me lie down on the table and squirted the lovely slime on my belly where my port is.  At this point I was praying they found only a port...NOT a baby (I already have 3.  4 if you include my husband!).  She located it in a matter of seconds and told me she could feel in close to the skin so it was going to be a breeze.  I asked her if it is really possible for anything with a needle that big to be a "breeze".  She laughed uncomfortably.  Go figure.

Next, in walks my surgeon and his nurse (both are wonderful).  She (the nurse) lifted up the needle.  I began to sweat a little.  I asked my surgeon if he was going to numb me.  After claiming it would only take a few seconds, he felt for the port area.  I asked him if he could quickly run and get me a Valium (I felt a little panicky!). 

He told me he was putting 2cc's in a 10 cc band.  INSERT NEEDLE HERE!!!!!  Those people who say you can not feel it are...LIARS!  Keep in mind, I have had 3 c-sections so I am not a pansy..but, it was uncomfortable.  Not downright awful, just uncomfortable.  What made matters worse is that he couldn't get into the port....so, after the port rolling around for a few minutes (OUCH!) the needle finally went in.  He then took out the 2.2cc's that were there during the surgery and refilled the port to 4.2cc's total. 

Then they had me drink a sip of water (I think maybe Chardonnay would have been better!).  I felt it going down...then sitting there.  CRAZY!  I told them it was a bit tight but they said it is normal and to sip all day on liquids.

On the way home I felt a bizarre gurgling sensation.  Then a very strange feeling in my jaw.  I coughed and up came.....foam!  I foamed!  It wasn't horrible, it wasn't nauseating, it was just WEIRD.  That is the best word to describe it.

All day, it has been hard to keep the gurgling away.  I have been taking very small sips of water.  At about 5 p.m.  I finally got an Ensure shake down.  Then I had de-caf coffee and that really seemed to help the tightness. 

So, all in all it wasn't the worst experience.  Will I be scared next time?  No.  It is something I have to do to get healthy.  That in itself is reason enough for fill #2.

THINGS TO HAVE ON HAND AFTER A FILL (OR AT LEAST AT MY HOUSE)

1.  Hot beverages

2.  Soup (broth or anything every liquidy)
3.  Protein powder or ready made shakes
4.  VALIUM  or WINE

I don't mean to scare you (really!), but this is the needle!

Ignorance is NOT Bliss

First thing every morning I check e-mail and FB (after all, a girl has to keep up on her social networking).  While on FB this morning,  I noticed an acquaintance (notice I DO NOT say friend!) posted this on her FB page status:

‎137 lb./62kg at 6 feet 1"/1,82m : according to the WHO I am a bad girl. ;-)
Bring on the haters... ;-) After all, you are what you eat.

Yes those are her "stats".  She is 6 feet 1 inch and weighs a whopping 137 lbs.  And obviously she thinks we all hate her because of her perfection.  Oh, and she believes you are what you eat.

Now, I am all for the motivational weight loss updates on FB.  But, I think this crossed the line and I will tell  you why.  I have known this woman for 5 years (our children have been in class together a number of times).  She is very condescending towards anyone she feels does not live up to her standards. 

I know (and so does anyone who has battled weight) that it is important to be watch the food I eat.  I track  everything that goes in my mouth.  Not to be obnoxious but because I need that accountability to myself. 

But, for those of us that have weight issues for someone (who has model like stats) to say, "you are what you eat" does not even begin to help. 

In fact, if you are like me it isn't about not knowing that a Twinkie is bad for me...I know it is!  It is about stuffing my feelings down with food.  Before I can begin to be in a healthy relationship with food I must work on why I choose to use food as a band-aid.

Until people quit being ignorant about weight and eating disorders, they will push those of us with problems to be secretive about what we are eating.  That is not healthy! 

I feel our society has really gone to the politically correct side lately (on most topics).  Unfortunately, we now are treating overweight people with such disdain that it will only cause more problems.  Just pick up a fashion magazine and read it.  You would be appalled about the article about "fatties". 

Anyway, back to my original idea.....making others feel bad by posting your stats on FB...not okay!  Not understanding that overweight people have feelings...not okay! 

Ignorance (on any topic) is NOT bliss! People....think before you post.

Oh, and by the way......................

I plugged in a 6'1" woman who weighs 137 in a BMI calculator and guess what?  It says she is underweight....just, sayin!

FOLLOW UP: 

Dear 6'1" 137lb. blonde (you know who you are!),

In honor of all the vertically challenged, you have officially been deleted as my FB friend.  That's right...DELETED.  Until you learn that it is not tactful to be rude you will no longer be able to read, post or view any of my FB content! Ha! :)

Sincerely,
Brenda (Bandster, soon to be HOT, Momma)

Lap Band Information

I just wanted to post some web-sites that I have found that have great information on Lap-Band.  I have found there are a lot of people out there that do not have any idea how the band works (even some who have been banded). 

For those of you contemplating having the surgery, family or friends of bandsters or if you need more knowledge of how your band works check these out!


http://www.lapband-blog.com/lap-band-surgery-how-does-it-work.htm

http://www.lapband.com/en/learn_about_lapband/device_how_it_works/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lap_Band