Breaking Up With Bread

I have to break up with bread.  It seems that every time I try to take even a small bite...it gets stuck.  So, here is the letter I have written to my former lover.

Dear Bread,

I really love you.  However, it has come to my attention that you no longer have my best interests at heart.  Let me put it to you straight...my band doesn't like you.  It makes me sad but I know it is for the best.

Over the years I have loved you toasted, buttered and with jam.  I have loved you french toasted, waffled, pancaked, baked and even fried.  It pains me (really, it does) to have to let you go.  I will miss you at breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. 

Goodbye crackers.  Goodbye toast.  Sniff...sniff...

You will truly be missed (by me but NOT my waistline or butt).

Sincerely,
Brenda Myers (recovering carb-addict)