We have been on this little banded journey together since the beginning. At times it is nice to have someone who "gets it" living with in the same house. Other times? Not so much.
Our banded journeys have been very different. I blog about mine and leave his journey out. Mainly, because it is his journey not mine. But, also because we do not have the same theory or use our bands in the same way.
I use my band for appetite control. As long as I am not starving, I can usually walk away or at least have control over my cravings. Him? Not so much. He uses his to restrict what he eats and depends on the band from stopping him eating what in his opinion are "bad" foods.
Is either one of us wrong in how we use our band?
No. I don't believe so. I think I was at a different place in my journey than him. That I was completely ready to change my mind and habits. He will always struggle with the "head hunger".
I also do not think that if I had been banded years ago I would have been as successful as I was now. I just wasn't ready emotionally to deal with all the head games that come from weight loss.
Anyway, last night I asked him why he thinks he still struggles with all the head hunger. His answer: You just have more willpower than I do.
I disagree.
I think that we were just at different places emotionally when we got banded. I was ready to change and to completely re-work all my bad habits. Him? Not so much. It will probably take him a little longer to break his ingrained habits.
This is what is comes down to: the willingness to change.
The willingness to lose the old habits and replace them with new ones.
Change is not an option. Change is a necessity.
Agreed! My mom was banded about 3 years before me and still isn't at her goal weight (she "only" about 50 lbs to lose), and hasn't changed any of her horrible habits.
ReplyDeleteI wish it had clicked for her, but I don't think it ever will.
My Hubs and I were banded on the same day. But we are like you guys --- 2 very different journeys. Our bands even behave very differently in what we are able to eat and what causes problems. Now that we are almost 2.5 yrs banded it also seems like our cycles of motivation/complacency are more out of sync. The biggest issue I struggle with lately is walking that fine line of holding each other accountable vs. being the diet/exercise nazi. I am much better about staying aware of where I am/ what I am doing (even when it's all the wrong things) than he is. He is much more prone to phases of denial (eating whatever, not weighing in, etc) so I feel like I have to walk a fine line of not letting him go too far down that road while not making him feel like he is being constantly monitored or judged. Although it may be a good thing that one of us is more motivated when the other is not since we share a lot of the same bad habits and living a life of bad habits is what got us both to needing a band in the first place.
ReplyDeleteThis is an excellent post. I think I am finally in the right frame of mind and am now utilizing my band like you are. As appetite control. I used to use it to restrict. And struggled with head hunger. A lot. This is the first time that I truly feel like I will be successful at this. Before... I always felt like I was treading water and waiting for the next big wave.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure what it would be like. My hubby is skinny and eats anything he likes. I wish I could change his eating habits but I have kind of given up....its hard enough keeping me on track let alone another person.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting post. My hubby and I are both sleeved, and even though I did mine almost 5 months before his, I went on to lose about -100lbs and he lost about -65. Experts always say men lose faster, but in our case it wasn't true. I've also been a lot more focused, (have the blog like you but don't blog about him and his journey) and a lot more connected to the WLS community in general. At the end of the day we are both continually happy with our losses, and we continue to support each other while not always viewing things exactly in the same way. Great post!
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