To the place I grew up. The place I rode my pink banana seat bike. The place I chased down the ice-cream man on the occasional sunny day. The place I lived when Mt. St. Helen's erupted. The place I got my first kiss. The place that broke my heart when I had to move away my junior year in high school. The place that is forever tattooed in my brain. The place that is full of good and bad memories.
At exactly 11:20 tomorrow morning I will flying into Portland, Oregon. Then I am taking a rental car to Hood Canal, Washington.
My mom called me 2 weeks ago and asked if I would fly up with her and my sister to help clean up the family vacation home. A horrible tenant has trashed the place.
But that is neither here nor there. It is just the beginning of the story.
A year ago, I would have said no way. No way would I ever subject myself to getting on an airplane. Never mind that I am a horrible flyer. I have to drug myself just to get on an airplane. But, couple the anxiety with the fear of having to ask for a seat belt extender and be sandwiched in with strangers and you have a concoction for my demise.
Really. It would have been the death of me mentally.
But now?
There is no reason (besides my anxiety) that I can not easily get on an airplane.
So, I said yes. Then I told my mom that this is a HUGE thing for me. Like REALLY HUGE. I am conquering my fear. This is nothing to be taken lightly............at least not to me.
I am doing this for my family. But, really I am doing this for me. Because I need to face this fear head on. Shatter my fear's power. Prove to myself that at 40 (my birthday is next week and I will celebrate the big
4-0) that I can handle what I could not handle in my 30's.
My weight is no longer an obstacle. I am going to embrace life in my 40's. Embrace it and prove to myself that there is NOTHING I can not do.
Tomorrow I will start another chapter in my life. I am hoping the chapter will no longer be filled with fear, longing and regret. Instead, it will be replaced with accepting myself and loving myself for the amazing journey that is about to unfolded.
I'm so proud of you for taking this step! As you know, I also deal with anxiety issues and one of mine is a fear of flying (which is difficult since I have to fly from time to time for my job). I still require anxiety medication in order to get on a plane but the fact that I don't have to make excuses to pre-board in order to quietly ask for an seatbelt extender and I don't worry about my size encroaching on the person next to me has made it more bearable. I hope you have a wonderful trip!!
ReplyDeleteFly safely, enjoy the trip, and rejoice in your success! You go lady!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy! I love that area I drove from portland to seattle once it was the most beautiful drive i have ever taken
ReplyDeleteGood for you for taking chances! Life is about embracing what scares us....and overcoming! :)
ReplyDeleteSarah
www.thinfluenced.com
YEAH!!!!! Victory dance! Pop the cork and throw the confetti. I totally get how big of a deal this is. I hope your trip goes well and I am SO happy that you can fly without any issues. One day I'll be doing the same thing . How inspirational you are!! And btw, I had a banana seat bike too!
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