The Hunger Monster

Yesterday, I had my first run in with the stress eating monster.  Thankfully the band won't let me stress eat.

I went to pick up the kids from school and my air conditioner in the car was blowing out hot air.  Not good!  It is already 90 degrees here in Texas.

When I got home, I called Kevin at work to tell him.  He was not happy.  Kevin started ranting and raving and asking me what did I want him to do about it.  I started to cry.

The next thing I knew I was standing right in front of my good friend the fridge with the door wide open.  But, the difference now is that when I get upset the band automatically tightens up.  Could I have tried to eat something?  Yes, but it probably would have ended up being thrown up.

So, I closed the fridge.  I drank Crystal Light and cleaned.  Well, if I am being honest I cried and cleaned.  But, I didn't eat!  That in itself is a success.  And it got me wondering......

Over the years, how much have I eaten and not really been present in that moment?  I would guess...a lot.  How many times does the normal person eat when stressed?   I am guessing...a lot.  It was kind of an A-Ha moment for me.

I have been relying on food to get me through all the stress in my life...and there has been tons of stress in the last 5 years.  What am I going to do going forward when I get stressed?  I haven't figured that out yet but the possibilities are endless...a walk, a hobby?  What am I not going to do?  I am not going to Brauhams with the kids or opening the fridge and eating empty calories.

I am taking this band one day at a time.  I am learning the new rules Hildegard (that is my bands name!) imposes on me.  I am becoming me again...slowly but surely I will get through this journey....and I will be stronger and more present in my own life.