Yesterday, I am proud to say I conquered two of my "fat girl" fears. Can you guess what they were? Going to the gym and buying a scale! I did both! What a proud day.
I hate walking into the gym. I hate the idea that I will be the fattest girl in the joint. I have a fear that everyone will stop and stare and wonder what the fat girl is doing at the gym. I know this sounds crazy because really what is the gym for? It is for people to get healthy. We all know that if you need to get healthy chances are you are just a little overweight.
I was pleasantly surprised to see that I was the youngest member there and no one was skinny! Imagine that! NO ONE WAS SKINNY. My gym time will definitely be at 1:30 in the afternoon again!
After facing that fear, I felt it was time to face the next one. So, after I picked the kiddos up from school we made a Wal-Mart run. I decided we actually need a scale. It is hard to imagine that after 15 yrs. of weight struggle that the scale will be going down now.
I mean I have tried very hard to NEVER step on the scale. At the doctors office I remove any article of clothing that I possibly can get away with without becoming naked in the hallway. I have even stepped backwards on the scale and told the nurse to keep the weight to herself. NO MORE!!!!
The last half a dozen times I have stepped on the dreaded scale it has actually went down! DOWN!!! Can you believe that? Even as I write this it seems impossible. One little band has changed the way I view the scale.
So, yesterday I climbed my mini-mountain and conquered a few dreaded fears. And you know what? My self-esteem went way up. I am going to love the new me! The new me is not afraid to try new things. The new me is not afraid to fail. The new me is going to be positively someone I want to hang out with!