I've Taken To The Bed

You read it right.  In glorious Victorian fashion, I have taken to the bed with girlie problems.  That's right, I am in bed blogging with massive cramps.  Lovely.

I should have seen the red flag (no pun intended) last night when I opened the fridge and shoved a handful of chocolate chips in my pie hole.  I should have seen it coming when I licked the salt off tortilla chips.  Or maybe the fact that I have been a total moody bitch should have given away that my "friend" would be coming to see me soon. 

So, I am going to lay here this morning with cramps and pray that the little devil box of a scale will be nice this week (I won't hold my breath).  I am also going to roll around in agony with the heating pad on my abdomen while dreaming of fun size Snickers bars.

Drama right?

Sometimes it really stinks being a girl.

If You're Gonna Run At Least Look Cute!

Yesterday, I met one of my besties to run/walk at the middle school track.  My theory is if I am going to do something that I really don't like (run) at least I can look cute.  So I had to sport a new running outfit.

Cute, huh?  Well, amazingly enough, it wasn't that bad.  Of course, it was only 2 miles.  I know some of you hard core runners are laughing right now, but I have to start somewhere!

Today though, back to my hilly walk.  I cranked that treadmill up on the incline and held on for dear life.  I guess it is all about finding exercise that you love and will stick with.  Walking is my "thing".  Running...not so much.  Bearable, but I don't see myself loving it..........ever. 

Happy Monday!!!!

Nothing To Do With Weight Loss But Still Funny...........

This is totally unrelated to anything that even remotely resembles weight loss, but still, I thought you would find it humorous.

Georgia just did Kevin's hair.  Bow and all.  Nice, huh? 

That is the benefit of being the only man in a household of girls.

And he just sat there and let her comb, hairspray and bow his hair.  Good daddy.

Ten Things Thursday

Ten Things Thursday brought to us by the always lovely Laura at Beer, Dogs and Getting Healthier

1.  I saw a really low number on the scale this morning.  I am not going to say or post the number in fear that it will jinx it and the number will be up tomorrow (that has happened before).  I think boosting my protein to 100 g a day is starting to make an impact on the numbers. 

2.  Yesterday it POURED down rain.  Seriously.  Torrential down pour.  Our driveway was a muddy lake.  Goodbye Texas drought.

3.  My life is pretty boring this week (which is good).  Nothing major.  Smooth sailing.  I probably should not have said that because now something will go horribly wrong.  Does that happen to you?  You think everything is going great and then BAM  something happens?

4.  Workout this morning was a JMichaels Boost Your Metabolism DVD.  I have to admit it kicked my ass.  I haven't been that tired in a long time.  And not the good kind of tired either where you feel energized and great after a workout.  The tired that I crawled into bed and took a 2 hr. nap.  Lazy, huh?  Not my favorite DVD. 

5.  Who the hell told me to get on Pinterest?  Can you say time-sucking website?  Such great ideas.  I think I may have to limit my time on there.  I may have a Pinterest addiction already.  Is there an intervention?

6.  My oldest daughter went to a Middle School information seminar yesterday.  Ouch.  That solidifies that I am getting old.  Middle School?  I am not ready.  Not at all.  Especially for the girl/boy part.

7.  Last week I bought the kids 2% milk.  I thought since they are kids maybe they needed to extra fat.  They wouldn't drink it.  They complained they wanted Skim instead.  Who are these kids?  Last year they would have complained about Skim.

8.  I am a cleaning procrastinator.  I wish I was a cleaning freak.  But I am not.  I will do ANYTHING to put it off.  I think I need a housekeeper.  If my husband is reading this................I definitely need a maid.  Please, please, please.  I have been a good little wife. 

9.  The other day I was feeling on my back and I got freaked out because I felt a knot.  I just knew something was wrong.  And I started stressing out.  Then I felt on the other side (same place).  I felt the same kind of knot.  It is just a muscle that I can feel now since there are not a thousand layers of fat in the way.  Weird.  I am starting to notice bones and muscles more. 

10.  Found this on Pinterest and thought I'd share:

What a great idea, huh?  I wish I would have had this idea in the beginning of my journey.  You put all the pebble in the Pounds to Go container and as you lose each pound you move the pebble to the Pounds Lost container.  Simply brilliant!

Well everyone, I hope you are having a fantastic Thursday!!!!

Sometimes Being Selfish Is Okay

My mom always taught me to put others ahead of myself.  After all, it is the nice thing to do.  And while that is a great philosophy, sometimes we need to be a little selfish.

For years, I neglected myself.  I let my health deteriorate.  My needs went on the back burner to the needs of my kids, husband and friends.  I think we as women, being the caregivers, sometimes find there is little to no time for ourselves and the things we love.  Some selfishness is okay.  In fact, it makes us better moms, wives and friends when we are happy, content and take care of ourselves.

I have a friend that I really admire.  Since I met her, 8 years ago I have noticed she has no problem telling people "no".  She makes time for herself.  Whether it is a night out with girlfriends, time at the gym, an evening away from her kids, she never feels guilty about having "me" time.  She is also one of the most loving and caring people I know.  She takes care of herself, her family and friendships beautifully.  Is there a selfish bone in her body?  No.  She just knows in order to be a better person sometimes she has to put herself first.

That is what I have been missing all these years..............selfishness.  Not the bad kind of selfishness.  The kind of selfishness that makes me take care of myself.  To know that I need "me" time.  To be okay putting myself first sometimes in order to be a well developed person.

For years I have worn the badge of "martyr".  I have resentfully given of myself and my time in order to take care of others needs.  What I needed what a selfish intervention.

Insert Lap-Band here.

Yeah, it is the first thing I have done for myself in a long time.  It is also the first "selfish" thing that I have ever done that will actually save my life.  And that is not selfish.  In fact, it is one of the least selfish things I can think of.  My kids will get to enjoy an active happy mom.  My husband has a new empowered wife.  I can be a better friend because I actually like love myself again.


The other day, when I was trolling FB, I found this quote posted on a friends wall:

The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development. I used to say "if you take care of me, I will take care of you" now I say "I will take care of me for you, if you take care of you for me."
  Jim Roth

So, my "selfish" time is every morning from about 7:30 to 10:00 a.m.  When I can be found working out (by the way, I turn my cell phone off until 10).

Feel free to leave a message after the beep.  I will be busy taking care of myself.

 

A Little Photo Motivation

I found this lovely before picture at my parents house.  It is definate motivation to stay active and watch what I eat.  Honestly, I can't remember the picture being taken.  I am sure I blocked it from my memory. 

I showed the hubs the photo yesterday.  He thinks we need to cover the front of the fridge with fat pictures as a motivation to eat right.  Not a bad idea. 

Anyway, I hope this motivates someone out there today.  It is proof that anyone can do this.

Ten Things Thursday

Ten things Thursday, started by Laura at Beer, Dogs and Getting Healthier.  If you haven't checked out her blog....well, go check it out. 

1.  Yesterday while Lesley and I were sweating with Jillian, she looked over at me at said my arms and shoulders were TINY.  It is nice to hear tiny instead of wobbly or bat wing like (which in all honesty could have been said).

2.  This is a random thought but it is one of life's little mysteries.  In the mornings when I brush my teeth a spot of toothpaste always emerges on my shirt.  It is not from my vanity because I have made sure to wipe it down.  I don't ever see a drop fall from my mouth either.  So, where does it come from?  Seriously?  Where?  It baffles my mind every morning.

3.  Tonight is Georgia's 2nd grade music program.  It will last a whopping 25 minutes.  I love that our music teacher knows that second graders have the attention span of gnats.

4.  This fill seems to be doing its job.  I am not snacking between meals.  Isn't it strange that we have to stall to get even a little fill?  Believe me, I could have used this fill before the holidays when all I wanted was chocolate.

5.  I can not buy jeans that seem to fit me.  I will fully admit to having no rear end.  My legs and thighs are skinny and I still have my lovely stomach pooch.  So when jeans fit me in the waist, they are huge in my butt.  It looks like I have poopy pants all the time.

6.  It is 78 degrees here today.  It actually feels like spring. I miss winter.

7.  All of a sudden my pug thinks she needs to ride in the car.  When one of us opens the door she runs out and sits by my van.  Maybe she wants to make a break for it.  After all, this is one crazy household.

8.  In order to bump up my protein, I have been drinking 2 protein shakes a day.  It seems to really be working to  up my protein to around 100 grams a day.  Not only is it keeping me satisfied longer but it helps control my sugar cravings.

9.  I know we all hate to talk about pooping but I seem to be seriously constipated all the time. I poop bricks or rabbit pellets.   I drink tons of water, take Mira-Lax and nothing is working.  It is a little frustrating for me because if I don't go, I don't lose.  The scale will not budge.  If you have any suggestions they would be greatly appreciated.

10.  I have decided that I need to invent a talking scale.  Before giving you your weight it will tell you things like, "You are so beautiful," "Look at you skinny,"  etc.  Wouldn't that be nice to hear something like that when you are stepping on the devil box?

That is all!  Have a great Thursday.

Me....Circuit Training?! Who'd A Thunk?!

Today is the second time this week I have done this ridiculously hard circuit training DVD.  Thanks Jillian!  I both love and hate you (as I would with any great trainer).

See how Jillian is pointing directly at me?  She is telling me that I am going to have abs like hers in about 90 days.  Well, at least in my imagination she is.

This week goes a little something like this:

Sunday: Walked 2.5 miles (with my mom the speed walker at super hyper turbo speed)
Monday:  Jillian and I had a date in my living room (where I was sweating like a hooker on payday)
Tuesday:  Lesley and I walked our 3.5 miles uphill (I crawled because I was so sore.  But I did it.)
Wednesday:  Lesley and I worked out with Jillian (who told us there was no way we could be almost 40 because not only are we soooo beautiful but we have major flexibility! Hey, I can dream.).
Thursday:  Planning on a cardio hill day
Friday:  More of the Jillian love
Saturday:  Rest day (seriously, rest as in 3 of the girls basketball games)

And then the fun will begin again next week!

I think it is absolutely insane that in a little under a year I have gone from couch potato to water aerobics to walking to distance walking to circuit training/walking.  I CAN NOT imagine not exercising now.  It has become such an ingrained habit....almost like breathing. 

When I first started my journey and I was in the 300's there was not any exercising going on .  When you are that heavy it hurts to even get out of bed, breathe and walk to the kitchen.  After about 50 lbs. gone I found water aerobics.  It is the perfect non-stressful exercise.  And I wonderful calorie burner.  After about 75 lbs. gone...I wanted to sweat.  And that is when the walking started.  Now, I would even do a boot camp (and I really don't ever want to..but I could)....I am not scared of any kind of challenge.

So, what I am getting at is this.................if you are at the beginning of your weight loss journey start with something that you feel comfortable doing.  It may be a walk to the mailbox or a stroll around the block.  Maybe your gym has a water aerobics or low impact aerobic class.  Just start somewhere.  Anywhere is better than sitting on your couch feeling miserable.

If you want to be successful in your weight loss you will have to start exercising at some point.  So why not start today?  Make it your daily habit.  Pretty soon you will not know how you lived without it.  Really...I swear (I wouldn't lie about that!).

Happy Workout Wednesday!!!

Give Away!!!

Sarah over at Fat So Sarah is giving away an awesome Jillian workout package.  Check it out!!

What Happens When You Start Living

Junior ROTC Marine Corps Ball 2012

Me, Georgia and Kevin

Me and Georia all dressed up

Georgia being escorted to her seat

Georgia dancing

Georgia and Kevin (A.K.A. Daddy)

For so many years I went through life sleep walking.  Not being present in my life or the life of my family.  I made excuses to not go places.  I hid away from the world because I was embarrassed and upset with myself for letting myself get so heavy.

Well, this weekend I did something totally unexpected.  My husband asked me to attend a Junior ROTC Marine Corps Ball with him.  I didn't even hesitate.  I just said yes.   I am sure he was surprised by my response.  He is used to me trying to get out of going anywhere.

He just happened to have an extra ticket and my youngest daughter (who is in love with all things dressy and princess-like) asked to go with us.  I got myself ready and curled her hair and let her put a little glittery makeup on.  She felt like an 7 year old princess.

I almost cried when the Marine asked for my permission to escort her to the table and also later when he asked if he could dance with her.  Just watching her little face light up made my night.  She danced with my husband when they asked the men to dance with their favorite "gals".  She danced with me.  She was in heaven.

Sometimes, it pains me to think of the things I missed out on because I was too scared to face life when I was heavier.  I can't imagine all the times it must have broken my girls heart to watch their mom retreat from events because of weight. 

But now, I have another chance.  Another chance to be present in my own life.  To see what happens when I actually start living and embrace life.

I won't squander it away this time.  I will live life to the fullest.  That is a promise I make to my family, friends and mainly to myself. 

The Inevitable Finally Happened...............

It was just a matter of time before it happened.

Yesterday at the surgeon as I stepped on the scale is showed no change in weight for the last month. That's right....NADA, ZILCH, ZERO a big fat doughnut!

What????? How the heck did that happen?  I almost yelled, "that scale is a dirty lying whore!"  But, then I remembered my hubby has to work with those people so I refrained from my Tourettes moment.

Anyway, how did this happen?  I exercise like a fiend.  I track my calories...obsessively.  Was it that it is that TOM?  Water retention?  The strength training I have added?

Long story short, I got a much needed fill.  I am hoping that will break the plateau.  I hadn't had a fill in 6 months! 

I have decided on a new game plan.  I am going to make sure to drink ONE protein shake a day before or immediately after working out.  My protein is still something I struggle with and that will put protein intake into the green zone.

I am really going to watch my sugar and carbs.  Because, I really like my chocolate but obviously, it doesn't like me as well.  And ditto for salt.  I look at salt and retain water.

So, while this is frustrating.  It is not something that makes me want to throw in the towel.  It actually makes me all the more determined to lose these last 15 lbs. 

Oh, and this morning when I stepped on my scale......it was 5 lbs. less than at the doctors office.  Dirty, lying, no good, b@#* of a scale!  I am telling you....scales are evil.

Happy Friday everyone!!!  I hope your scale is not your enemy today.

Tag - I'm It!!!

The Rules

1.      Post these rules. 

2.      You must post 11 random things yourself

3.      Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.

4.      Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.

5.      Go to their blog and tell them that you've tagged them.

6.      No stuff in the tagging section about ‘you are tagged if you are reading this.’ Blah blah blah, you legiti­mately have to tag 11 peeps!

Eleven Random Things About Me

1.  I will turn the big 40 this year.  June 6th to be exact.  I will start my 40's skinnier and healthier than my 30's!!!!

2.  I am a master level make-up artist.  I worked in the cosmetic industry for over 10 years.

3.  I HATE mushrooms so bad that I told my college roommate that I was allergic to them.  That way she wouldn't make me try them! (Sorry E!)

4.  My pug is my 4th child.  She thinks she is human.

5.  I love to read. 

6.  I was born in Bellingham, Washington which is very close to the Canadian border.

7.  I moved to Alabama my junior year in high school.  Can you say culture shock?

8.  My idea of roughing it is having to stay in a hotel with no room service.  Needless to say, I am not a fan of camping.

9.  I do not like sappy movies.  I am a comedy kind of gal. 

10.  My decorating style is French Country.  But not fancy French Country.  More rustic than fussy.  (My great grandmother was from France....she came over through Ellis Island.)

Robyn's Questions:

1. .  Favorite hockey team?  I don't have one.  I honestly have never watched hockey.  Scandalous right?
2.   House/townhouse/apartment/condo/ other- Where do you live? House....and get this...we live in an underground house.  It is built into a hill.  How fun is that?
3.   Do you live in the Country or the City? Country.  We have 15 acres.
4.      What was your best Christmas gift ever? I honestly can not think of one thing!
5.      What is your favorite Beach to visit?  Gulf Shores, Alabama
6.      Would you want to know when and how you will die if you could not change it or would you prefer to not know?  I do not want to know any detail about my death.  I would obsess about it too much.
7.     Do you believe it love at first sight?  Lust yes.  Love no.  I think we can definitely be attracted to people. But, to love someone you really have to know them. 
8.     Do you still talk to your first best friend? We are FB friends.
9.      Do you like dogs or cats better?  Do you have any of either? I am a definite dog person.
10.    What is your profession?  Do you enjoy it?  Right now I am a stay at home mom.  Sometimes, I miss the corporate world.  Talking to adults all day sure would be nice.
11. What is your favorite book and/or author?  My favorite book is Ask Again Later by Jill A. Davis.  It is crazy how much that book is so much like my life.

P  I will tag everyone a little later!  I am in between basketball practices with the kids!

What Have You Gained from Losing?

This weight loss journey has amazed me.  Never in a million years would I have thought that I would find such blessings from an area of my life that was in such disrepair.  But I have.  And now, I wouldn't change one thing about my journey!

Here are just a few things that I have gained from losing weight.

1.  My health - I was taking 5 different medications.  I now only take my thyroid medicine.  My blood pressure and depression are GONE.  It is hard to be depressed when you have so many endorphins running through your body from working out.

2.  Confidence.  I think I can do anything now.  If I can conquer this weight issue than everything else is insignificant.  It was the one part of my life I had little to no control over.  That has completely changed.  I am in charge now.

3.  Strength.  I double dog dare someone to try to take my purse.  I would run after you and kick some serious ass.  When you feel strong there is nothing that you can not do.  I couldn't  run before losing weight...hobble maybe, but run, no way! 

4.  Energy.  It is amazing how good you feel after losing 20 lbs, 50 lbs, 100 lbs.  I used to nap during the day.  I am so full of energy now that I can barely sit down or stay still!  I have to go, go, go.  When you have 3 kids that extra energy sure makes life a lot easier.

5.  My kids admiration.  This was very important to me.  I wanted to be a role model for my girls.  Before losing weight, I was not the best mom I could be.  I can now be not only physically active with them but they no longer have to worry about my health.  I can be someone that they want to be like.  An inspiration to them.  They now see that I can do anything I set my mind to. 

6.  I have gained a waist.  That's right.  My waist line has made a reappearance.  NICE!

7.  Support.  From people that I least expected.  Amazing friendships have happened.  I have people cheering me on that I never expected to support me in this journey.  It is hard to fail when you have that much support.

8.  Space.  Let's face it, being heavy takes up a lot of space.  I can sit in any seat comfortably, spaces no longer feel confining.  There is now a lot of extra space in our king size bed. 

9.  A better outlook.  Because when you are fighting with yourself it is hard to be positive.  My attitude towards myself and the world is just a bit sunnier these days.

10.  Respect.  Mainly from myself.  Because I refuse to beat myself up anymore, especially over food.  I won't let food control me anymore.  I will respect myself and my body.  I will take time for myself EVERY day.  Why?  Because I respect myself.

There are so many other things I could list.  The list could be endless. 

What have you gained from losing?  Or if you are at the beginning of your weight loss journey ask yourself this........what will you stand to gain from losing weight?

New Year Comparison Pictures

Since today is the start of a new year, I thought I would give you the mother of all mothers in comparison pictures.  I have to say, as I am typing this my hands are shaking. 

The before picture actually makes my stomach hurt.  It makes me want to cry.  To reach out and tell that woman that no longer exists that there is a way out.  You see, at that point I had given up.  I believed at the time that I would just be fat until the day I died.  2 years later..........I have a new outlook. 

My band has given me the greatest gift.....my life back.

I know my band doesn't do most of the work.  That I have to work hard, eat right and exercise.  But, it gave me the kick in the ass that I needed to get back on track.  It gave me back hope.  It gave me the courage to push myself.  It made me love myself again. 

And so to my band I say...............thank you, for teaching me that I AM WORTH SAVING!!!  Thank you for helping me believe in myself again.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!