It is hard to see any resemblance when I was a 300 lb. woman. Everyone in my family is beautiful. Really. It is sickening.
So, being the heavy one made me feel like the black sheep. I didn't fit in with the people that I have the most in common with. That is a very lonely feeling.
I didn't grow up heavy. Yes, I have a slower metabolism than my mom but, in my younger years you could see what gene pool I had come from. I did not get heavy until after marriage. Then more so after kids. Then even more after a life altering illness.
Yesterday, I had a PTO function to attend. So, seeing as how I was already "prettied" up, I decided to snap a picture.
The picture actually stunned me. Not because I was dressed up. Not because I had makeup or jewelry on. It was because I recognized the woman in the picture.
It was my great-grandmother.
There is not a doubt in my mind that the genes I have received came from Frances Lillian Foote. It is apparent in the photo. I have her hair. Her face shape. Her smile. I look just like her.
What I see in that picture is reassurance. I see where I fit in. Where I belong.
I see my present. I see my grandmothers past. And for once, I see the future.
Thank you grandma. For the Cheetos I used to eat on your porch. For the Ramen Noodles we loved to eat with you. For the music box that sits on my dresser. For your giving heart. For your genes.
I finally feel like I belong again.